Forget going forwards

I need to take a step back!

(but this time it's intentional)

For someone who was supposed to be pulling their socks up and starting afresh - this morning could have begun in a slightly kinder fashion!  Al left for work early and typically my insomnia was no where to be seen, consequently I thought it best to set my alarm so I didn't oversleep. It felt like my head had barely touched the pillow when it rang, I switched it off and promptly fell back to sleep for another twenty minutes. Flying out of bed I couldn't help but get the feeling that something wasn't quite right, a look at the clock in H's room confirmed my suspicions - I had changed the time of the clock and not the alarm, fast forwarding through the 50 minutes I had hoped to be asleep for!

Oh well, perhaps my day would get better - it didn't, nothing major just lost of frustrating little bits that didn't quite go the way I wanted them to, like knocking a pint of water over just before I started cooking tea. Which isn't surprising because my head's busy and I'm permanently in a bit of a flap - I think it's time I took a step back, although I get the distinct impression that I've talked about the need to do this before.

It is becoming blatantly obvious to me (and no doubt you) that I get too easily side tracked and find myself fixating on things that I have very little control over rather than getting on with what I can do and letting the rest take care of itself.  A prime example being my search today to find a half marathon before next summer (need to talk to you about the Great North Run RLB and HM) which instead ended up being a search for a website I'd been on previously and wanted to find again (but didn't!).

Despite all good intentions and kind words of support and advice, I am not going to be able to stop worrying overnight and have spent too much of today caught up in the same futile internal conversation (oh and a couple of external ones - sorry Al and C) of "what if's" regarding my fundraising and afternoon tea. But I am not a completely lost cause - yet!

I have put away all my card making stuff until after next weekend (unless I get an order in which case I will more than happily get it all out again!). Tomorrow is the start of the big tidy up in preparation for having people round because irrespective of whether or not I get to my magic twelve, there are seven who've already said they'll come so I'd better start focussing on them and providing some good food in pleasant surroundings!

And ladies I may still have to master the art of the mini frittata but the brownies I made this morning are to die for (not that I tasted any of course!).

M - 706
Total Distance Covered remains at 122.4 miles (although I did walk 4 with the dog).