The Wall

I'm tired.  It's the end of term.  The boys are all on holiday, and yet here I am plodding on, not feeling like I'm making any progress, wondering what I'm doing it for, and what difference it would actually make if I just stopped.

I don't think I really took on board how long I'd be doing this for when I started, or at least how long it would feel.... when in marathon terms I'm only just past the sixteen mile mark, which I'd like to think would be a little early for hitting 'the wall'.  Yet at the moment I feel a bit like I'm beating my head against one!  It all just feels a little bit too much like hard work and a week on from writing about needing to find some inner grace and pleasure in what I'm doing, I'm still as wound up and grouchy as ever!

I am really questioning the decision to run three half marathon's this year, especially as full marathon training begins not long after we've run the third, yet at the same time I know that if it wasn't in the diary I wouldn't be doing any running at all.

It is, I think, becoming ever apparent that I need a break, yet I know I won't take one - so instead I need to regroup and have a look at what I'm trying to achieve, and perhaps set myself some different targets for over the summer holidays.

By far and away the biggest thing affecting my daily mood is Etsy.  I'm not doing enough with it to affect a difference other than a few increases in page views, so I either have to stop looking, or stop letting it bother me... "Good Luck with either or both of those!" Alternatively I could try following some advice that I read recently to change the figures I look at from 'today' compared to 'yesterday' to 'last 30 days' compared to 'previous 30 days'.  That might work, but I think a media lock down might be more effectual, however hard to implement.  I need to stop worrying about how I'm going to sell the bags, and just concentrate on what should be the fun part of making them.

To this end I spent a huge part of today (albeit in front of a Harry Potter binge watch) ironing fabric into bag handles so that when I come to actually sew all the boring bits are done!  Didn't do much for my mood today, but a sense of achievement when it was finished, and a promise of better things to come.

M - 281

Glasgow - 77

Total Distance covered   742.4 miles