London Marathon Day 2015....

Up early, ironing saved, all ready to watch this year's London Marathon.  A good luck message sent to Marathon Man almost mentioning what a glorious day it was for it... glad I changed my mind over adding that bit when I switched on the TV a few minutes later and saw the rain in London! A couple of text messages acknowledging the fact that this time next year I hope to be among the thousands queueing for the toilets and waiting half an hour to get to the start line (thanks sis and SC) and I settled down (albeit at the ironing board) to watch the race.

A day later and I'm still struggling to really put into words how it made me feel.  For so long I've watched with the same feeling of 'if only' washing over me, wishing that I was there running the twenty six miles, to the extent that the day after watching last year's marathon I started writing this blog and set myself out to actually do something about the feelings!  I had expected to feel buoyed up by the sight of it all, instead it made me want to run as far as I possibly could (currently about half a marathon's worth) in the opposite direction!

For the past year, it's still been a dream, something I'd like to do, something I've talked (and written) about doing, not something I've actually had to do something about.  The minute the race started, that changed.  Now it is a reality.  I either get a place or I don't.  I either survive the training or I don't.  I either raise the pledge money or I don't.  There is no middle ground.

By taking a dream and turning it into a reality I also have to acknowledge that it might not live up to my expectations.  There is sooooo much made about the atmosphere in London, but I don't know what that actually means, having never been to watch I can only imagine what it's like, what if it's not the experience that I think it's going to be?  It might of course be better than I could ever imagine but I'm scared that it won't be.

Trouble is, by saying that I'm actually going to do something about it, I have already changed forever how I will feel on London Marathon Day.  If I bail out now and don't run then I will always be filled with regret for getting so close and giving up.  If I run then I'll never again be able to watch without being reminded of the experience good or bad. It is already too late.  My morning of watching and feeling inspired has gone.  I need to find some sprint athletics to watch and quick! Something that I can feel admiration for and gain inspiration from without the follow on feelings of I could do that!

I wasn't expecting to feel like this, and it's kind of knocked me sideways, inadvertently I've burst my bubble of enjoyment from being an armchair spectator.  In which case marathongirl750 there's nothing else for it, you're going to have to go and find out what it feels like to be a competitor!

PS Well Done Marathon Man! 3 hours, 34 mins and 10 secs... fabulous run!

M - 380

Liverpool Half - 49

Glasgow Half - 161
Total Distance covered   572.2 miles