Free Fall

At least I hope that's what's happening!

The Scots have voted against Independence. In my head it's the right thing, but my heart is tinged with sadness that in reality the dream just didn't seem viable to enough people to make it happen, and after all the build up and anticipation everything just feels a bit flat today.

For someone who is already not riding high on a wave of positivity this isn't really what I need. I've started to see analogies between this and my own hopes and aspirations, which is only adding fuel to my already smouldering fire that I my dream isn't viable either. Although running on Tuesday night I did have a flash of inspiration...

I once went on a Change Management course at Cranfield University and loved every minute of it! It was a wonderfully intense and incredibly stimulating course, just a shame it's then lain dormant for the intervening 18 years!

The bit that has stayed with me is the Kubler-RossTransition Curve, which plots perceived confidence, moral and effectiveness over time and explains how a person reacts to change. Initially using the same skills base that they have to adapt to the change and feeling a short term increase in morale and competence, it then becomes apparent that these old skills are not adequate for the new situation and they start to plummet through anger and frustration and in to depression.  With acceptance of the situation, the learning of new skills and adoption of new behaviours they will start to feel better and climb back up to a point that is eventually better than where they started.  On a personal level, what is less clear is to know whether or not I've hit the bottom, or the worst is yet to come!

But it has given me a glimmer of hope that perhaps having instigated a huge change in my life by starting this (a hundred and fifty days ago!)and my initial wave of success, I've hit free fall which is, in the first instance only to be expected and in the second, something I can pull myself out of, but it will involve me accepting that things aren't always going to work the way I want them to, and that's the bit that I don't like!

Staring at my Etsy shop view statistics is never going to bring in a sale (but I've just checked again on the off chance!) and I am not going to be able to run longer distances without adopting new exercising habits.  I was about to say that I seem to be in denial about this but that puts me back before free fall has even begun and I MUST be further on than that!

M - 599
HM - 156
Glasgow - 16
Total Distance covered  240.9 miles

PS Happy Birthday Etsy Favouriter! x