And we're off!



Brighton Half Marathon - here we come!

Having enjoyed holidays in the North of Scotland in both glorious and somewhat less than glorious weather, we have a saying in our house when the weather's a bit rubbish and we don't really want to go out which goes along the lines of "If we were in Balnakeil we'd be on the beach..."

I was reminded of this this morning, not because of the weather, but because I didn't want to run, I hadn't slept well and it was me who was feeling a bit rubbish and I found myself saying (albeit to myself) "If this was a Saturday I'd be at parkrun..."

So I donned my trainers and set out for the first three miles of our two hundred and twelve mile training plan, which should see us up to half marathon distance by Christmas - I don't know what panic's me more the running or the fact that it's around twelve weeks till Christmas!

It wasn't the most spectacular of runs, but I did it and I'm glad I went early and got it over with rather than spend the day making excuses over why I shouldn't go.  Disappointingly my Garmin died just as I set off and I'm somewhat gutted that I won't have a record of the whole two hundred and twelve miles, but not so much so that I want to do a second 'first' run! It does however, also mean that I have no idea of my pace but I know it was faster than the recommended twelve minutes per mile on our tortoise training plan! Halfmarathongirl is struggling to run this slowly too, so we have reached the conclusion that we'll just run at a comfortable pace for now, there's plenty of time for us to get slower as the distance increases!

Finally we're on our way! It feels like it has been a long time coming and I just hope that the training that I've put in to date will help my knees and ankles stand up to the increases in distance that are heading our way.  Although that said it's five weeks until we run eight miles, so perhaps I'll be ready by then, especially as if I do my exercises twice a day on days that I don't run that's two thousand four hundred squats away!

M - 588
HM - 145
Glasgow  - 5
Distance covered 3.1 miles
Total Distance covered  257.5 miles

Day One*

* of Half Marathon Training

Isn't quite the runaway success I was hoping for!

I apologise now to every male reader for bringing up the subject of filing my nails (please bear with me!) but if ever there was a tale whose moral was to stop procrastinating and get on with the jobs you know need doing, then it was the one that befell me this afternoon involving my finger nails, a poo bag that wasn't quite able to withstand my talons, and a pile of dog mess.  There are some lessons I guess I'm just going to learn the hard way! Especially as scrubbed, rescrubbed and disinfected they still need filing!

Determined to have a more productive day than yesterday I did manage to work out what my priorities were for the day and stick with them.  I haven't had a lot of time but I used what I did have well, ticking off jobs and trying my best to keep focussed.  But by three o'clock I was bored rigid! Clearly I thrive on chaos, and this structured approach left a lot to be desired. 

Having been so disciplined all morning, this afternoon I found myself once again staring at my Etsy shop willing an order to come in so I can leave the monotony of my jobs and disappear into a far more exciting world, but unfortunately there has only been one view today, a New Home card by someone in the United States which I think is equally as implausible as last week's Happy Birthday card to Hungary, but you never know...

I have loads to sort out before I go away on Friday, and two runs to fit in before then! Having taken last week off running I am amazed by how quickly I have managed to erase the need to allocate time for this from my consciousness.  I already had tomorrow all planned out and at no point had 'run' entered my head. Which makes me wonder if I haven't really taken the first day of my half marathon training as seriously as I ought to, hmm... thinking about it there may have been some dietary intake in support of that suggestion!

M - 589
HM - 146
Glasgow  - 6
Total Distance covered  254.4 miles

Dizzy

like a whirlpool it never ends...

Over the past seven weeks, since finishing the course of antibiotics designed to get rid of a gut infection, I have become increasingly convinced that all I have managed to do is replace it with another! You will however be glad to know that I intend to spare you the finer details, suffice to say I'm feeling a bit crap today. Run down and exhausted this is not the best way to embark on my half marathon training plan tomorrow, although to be fair it doesn't actually require me to run until Tuesday!

Yesterday I called round at Halfmarthongirl's to drop off her Etsy order and was delighted to find her at home yet disappointed that I didn't have time to stop for a cup of tea. Standing chatting at the door, her house beckoning to me like an oasis of calm, I would have loved to have had the time to go in and have a cuppa and chat, perhaps followed by being left to curl up on a comfy chair in her conservatory and sleep in the late afternoon sun!

It did however get me to thinking about my house and apart from in the winter when the fire's lit in the front room and the lighting is so dim that it induces sleep (ring any bells sisterofMG750?) I'm not sure calm would be a word anyone would use to describe my slightly chaotic house (although hopefully welcoming might not be too far down the list).  We've already established that I don't know how to do calm and perhaps my house is a reflection of this, although that said I clearly have a very relaxed attitude towards cleaning!

I'm sick of going round in circles, and I'm conscious that regular readers are already at risk of getting dizzy.  Sooner or later you know I'm going to say that I need to get organised, that I don't know where to start, that it's all a bit overwhelming and how I wish I'd done things as I'd gone along and not left it all to mount up, not to mention how many times I've said it's time for action!  However, like it or not, here we are again.

I really need to try to get to grips with this and actually move on, and yet just at the crucial moment where I'm about commit to sorting my life out (or at least the jobs that are STILL on my to do list) my neighbour texts to say she is free on the 18th October, which is the starting point I have been waiting for, and Operation Afternoon Tea Take Two is launched, looks like the cupboard may have to wait a little bit longer!

M - 590
HM - 147
Glasgow  - 7
Total Distance covered  254.4 miles

Good

But already in my head not good enough...

Sitting soaking up the sun outside the café post parkrun this morning I had the feeling of the day stretching ahead of me and nothing planned to fill it, little did I know at the time that the next six hours would disappear in a never ending stream of chauffeuring duties that would drain any ounce of post run euphoria out of me!

Having not run all week I was a little unsure as to how this morning would go, but my legs seemed to have been grateful for the rest and I ran my fastest time this (Dewsbury parkrun) year (which resets sometime in June).  All the way round I kept thinking that perhaps, with the start of my half marathon training next week, I ought to give myself a break on a Saturday morning by running a bit slower and just chalk up the runs towards my hundredth (only forty eight to go!), but as I edge ever nearer the twenty four minute mark I know that I'm going to want to try to get back under it, or at very least maintain my speed, so it looks like the idea of taking it easy is already a non starter...

Question then is, can I motivate myself to want it during the week when I need to get back on with my exercises and out on my training runs, because it won't come with just pushing myself on a Saturday morning.  I know what I have to do, but do I have the mental strength to do it?  Not for the first time I think I need to take a leaf out of Fellow Parkrunner's book of sheer grit and determination... MOMENTOUS DAY for her today as she ran an all time personal best and in doing so has beat all her post accident daemons both physical and mental. Way to go RLB! Going to have to train just to keep up with you soon!

M - 591
HM - 148
Glasgow - 8
Distance covered              3.1 miles
Total Distance covered  254.4 miles

Pink Noise

Pie Charts and Puddings...

After the furore of the past couple of days it was nice to have time this morning to get my cards finished and my spreadsheet updated, whilst sitting in the relative quiet with just the dogs and some 'pink noise' for company! Pink noise* is apparently easier to listen to than white noise, I'm not altogether convinced of this and do wonder who they ask to reach these conclusions, but I needed to concentrate so opted for it instead of the radio.

My spreadsheet is far from sophisticated and a bit on the inefficient side as it still requires more manual inputting than I think is absolutely necessary, but it works! I know how many cards I've sold, how many I've made but not sold (to be fair I can count those ones in my head!), how many are listed on Etsy, how many pieces of blank card I need to keep on one side in case I get an order, and how many are left.

This sorted I then decide to see if I can remember how to get it to produce a pie chart, and before long I have a lovely pictorial breakdown of how I have raised my thousand pounds.  Sue's garden party remains by far and away the most successful to date raising a little over half of the total, and it will be interesting to see where the changes come as I go on to raise the next thousand and this segment reduces to a quarter.

I had hoped to be able to post a picture of my chart on here for you to share in it's beauty but I can't work out how to do it, and FIFA15 came out today so the chance of seeing a teenager who might be able to help is, at best, slim to non existent!

I then move on to who has been my best customer (but choose a bar chart this time!) disappointingly but not unsurprisingly it's me! As the only person who has bought every card they've sent from me, it stands to reason that I will be my own best customer, but it isn't really the most sustainable of business relationships!

Trying so hard to wean myself away from staring at my Etsy viewing figures (which, lets face it, just replaced my blog readership stats) I have actually managed to refrain from checking on them half hourly basis. Although it's hard not to feel a bit flat when you've watched them rise to being in their twenties and then plummet to one, and worse still when that one lives in Hungry and isn't therefore particularly likely to hit 'buy'.  But perhaps it will give me time to tidy up and get the house in order before going away next weekend.

Very much looking forward to our wee trip north Halfmarathongirl, and catching up with schoolfriendofMG750 - it's been far too long.  As for you sis, I may curse you around the 8km mark, but I'm glad you suggested it and can't wait to see you either. Al has spent the past two evenings preparing your Christmas pudding ready for me to bring with me, but it's smelling so good it may just get eaten before then. That said, my little week off is over with the arrival of another Saturday morning parkun and that hill's going to be bad enough without lugging a belly full of Christmas pudding up with me!

M - 592
HM - 149
Glasgow - 9
Total Distance covered  251.3 miles

*For those of you wishing to share in a little of the tinnitus sound therapy treatment.... you'll be pleased to learn there's nine hours of it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC578OQYGf8

Zip A Dee Doo Dah

Zip A Dee A

My appeal for friends to help me reach the half way point in my fundraising resulted in fresh interest in my shop and the excitement of a couple of orders fairly early on last night.  First up was schoolfriendofMG750 with her first order, followed by Mrs J, my Westival saviour with at least her fourth!

SisterofMG750 then remembers to tell me that one of her friends has had difficulty finding my shop as the link I've been posting on FB takes you to Etsy's home page, not mine.... Nightmare! All those cards I rushed to put on a few days ago and no one's been able to find them! ( My Etsy shop's called marathongirl750 in case anyone reading has had the same problem!)

By the time Al got in from juggling I was busy drawing and colouring in, and rubbing out and glossing so I can get the orders out as quickly as possible. It was all very exciting as I edged ever nearer my target and by the time I got to bed I was like a child waiting to see if Santa had been... I couldn't stop checking my ipod for any updates.

Two late orders, one from a friend at parkrun who, having seen what she's managed to do with a piece of furniture purchased on holiday in France and a coat of albeit rather expensive paint, shall from here on in be referred to as Style Consultant, and, perhaps the most exciting of all, one from a friend of Fellow Parkrunner who reads my blog! This is the closest I've got to a 'proper' sale (although the boys have discounted it because I begged people to buy!). Ignore them...  I was by now in a state of euphoria and completely unable to get to sleep!

I am both touched and amused by the message sent to me along with this last order, where someone who only knows me through my blog has managed to learn enough of me to tell me that they aren't in a rush for the cards and I'm not to worry about sending them off quickly, but perhaps doesn't fully realise the extent to which I am unable to see "it's OK take your time" as anything other than lackadaisical! (They will be ready to pass on to RLB on Sat!).

This morning over breakfast it was clear that my euphoria has not abaited overnight, I'm singing and dancing and C keeps telling me not to get ahead of myself, but by this point I am ONE card away and am checking my ipod every minute waiting for that all important next order. Which doesn't come.

A couple of early views of my shop and then nothing. It was almost like the world had gone off to work or something and didn't have time for surfing the internet in search of greetings cards.

I was devastated, the boys had (for once) quite rightly stopped me from being the £1000th pound customer and buying one of my own cards but it was a long wait until I got back in at half past four to discover that Halfmarathongirl is the rightful recipient of the title!

Thank you to my wonderful friends who were part of the excitement of the past twenty four hours, and to all those who have played their part in getting me into the position where I can say...

We've done it! £1000 raised for Barnardo's.....

MY OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY!

M - 593
HM - 150
Glasgow - 10
Total Distance covered  251.3 miles

Preparation

why didn't I think of this earlier?!

The money for the last flurry of Etsy purchases is in... and I've reached the nine hundred and fifty pound mark on my totaliser! Whoop! Whoop! Actually I've raised nine hundred and sixty five pounds which means I only have to sell five cards to six people and I'll have A THOUSAND POUNDS!

I have this evening launched an appeal of Facebook to find those six people and have my fingers crossed that they are out there and ready to help me reach this milestone, especially as at the moment with the Etsy offer they will get them for half price! (Etsy favouriter you are not expected to spend your birthday vouchers in my shop, but when those orders are in, you are expected to come and eat cake and dance the Etsy dance with me whether my son invites you to or not!).

I know I am getting my hopes up and am perhaps being a little too expectant but I'm so close it's hard not to be, besides which it comes with the added bonus that I would be busy making cards and wouldn't therefore have time to do anything else! Quite where this fits in with my newly required relaxation is anyone's guess, but perhaps I could kid myself (if no one else) that I'll stop stressing quite a much once I've reached this milestone?! Not convinced? No neither am I, especially as I am in the process of organising my next afternoon tea party!

I haven't run, or exercised since Sunday, I am just too tired and haven't managed to find the time, but I am trying not to beat myself up about it.  Instead I've been consoling myself with the fact that the end goal of the first week of our training plan is to run 10K, which if I set as next Sunday in Glasgow, means I've got a week in hand before training starts in earnest, so if I'm going to take time off it kind of has to be now. 

I'm sure I also read somewhere that the best way to prepare for the start of a training plan is to eat copious amounts of brownies and cream in the week building up to it, which is handy really as I just happened to bake some yesterday.

M - 594
HM - 151
Glasgow - 11
Total Distance covered  251.3 miles

First order in, thank you schoolfriendofMG750, that's the ironing pile bumped down the list!

The Sound of Silence

It may be a while before we're reunited!

I had my follow-up appointment at the hospital today, the purpose of which seemed to be to make another appointment, and coming shortly after reading a notice about how many missed appointments there were in August and how this cost the hospital over sixteen thousand pounds begs this question of whether this morning's £127 appointment 'fee' was money well spent!

I saw the same doctor as last time (albeit minus the head mirror) who tells me that he isn't surprised that there has been no change in my symptoms. The tablets haven't made any difference apart from to make me feel poorly and so we move into the realm of tinnitus management, and he tells me that I will see someone about this this morning, but seems to find it necessary to write on my referral slip that I am reluctant to have a hearing aid, based on my reaction at my previous appointment. I did tell him that perhaps I need to be more open minded but he carries on writing.

I am then escorted further up the corridor to await my consultation, or as it turns out - to make an appointment to see someone else in a further four and a half weeks time. She mutters something about how they would have done something with regard to the hearing aid today, but for the doctor's note, and again is reluctant for me to change my mind on this, whilst looking at me like I am exceptionally ungrateful when I make the comment that surely no one 'wants' a hearing aid?!  I'm not sure if this stance will end up being for my benefit or just delay the process longer, but it all seems rather inefficient, and my opinion on this is only reinforced when on leaving I am given an information sheet on tinnitus and some suggestions of what I can do - really it's taken two months for this to be given to me?

It's a complicated old thing... I've to avoid silence (which is one of my most favourite things!), listen to white noise as much as possible (apparently most people find the sound quite soothing?), add environmental sound at night - a ticking clock or a radio off station - but not to do anything solely because of my tinnitus as this could become tinnitus related activity and might make it worse.  Now excuse me my naivety but surely no one in their right mind would choose to listen to a radio off station all night?!

However as the leaflet also states tinnitus is a non-specific symptom that can be brought on by a mental or physical 'change', no physical ones to report, perhaps I am just loosing the plot after all. It concludes that the best thing I can do is learn to relax... it's almost like they saw me coming!

M - 595
HM - 152
Glasgow - 12
Total Distance covered  251.3 miles

Magnus Magnusson

I've started so I'll finish

One of my biggest bugbears is not having enough time to finish something once I've started (although admittedly it does depend on how much I want to be doing it in the first place!).  Somewhat disappointingly after that introduction the thing I most wanted to be doing today was sorting my spreadsheet of cards made and sold - to get it up to date and working properly!

I struggled to set up my spreadsheet in the first place when I didn't really know what information I wanted on it, and now that I do, I struggled to get it all transferred across onto the one form from the numerous different worksheets I've managed to write in the interim.  I started at ten o'clock, by half past one I hadn't finished, I hadn't eaten lunch, I hadn't walked the dogs and I'd only remembered to drink half my cup of tea that I'd made when I first sat down.

I was clearly in a mood to try and get things in order and I really didn't want to have to stop without finishing, especially as I knew that when I did my day was going to be taken out of my hands and disappear in a flurry of dog walking,tea cooking, chauffeuring and shopping, what I hadn't foreseen was quite how long the preparation of tea would take after I cut my thumb open whilst chopping some veg. In a strangely fortuitous way however at least I had some Steri-strips in the house after the embarrassment of going to A&E last year with a similar injury only to have a nurse stick a plaster on my thumb!

Eventually I finished it and am confident that it works! It might not be the most efficient spreadsheet in the world and there is probably a way of collecting the information in a much more concise fashion, but for now it's done.  I know what I sold, when I sold it, whether it was through Etsy or a private sale, and how many cards I have left, should any more Etsy orders come in, sorry WHEN some more Etsy orders come in.

It's not rocket science and I can't help but think that it shouldn't have taken as long as it did, but I am pleased that it's done. A small semblance of order has been restored, it feels good and might even motivate me to tackle the dresser in the back room, just so long as I don't get interrupted half way through!

M - 596
HM - 153
Glasgow - 13
Total Distance covered  251.3 miles

Seven Mile Sunday!

And a total distance covered of over 250 miles!

You will have gathered by now that my mind does not always work in my favour! Having more or less decided that I was going to do my seven mile run this morning, I spent most of the night waking up and thinking about it, trying to assess how my legs felt (without getting up), and whether it was a good idea or not.  Then at half seven when my alarm went  I was in the deepest sleep, good ear down, and Al had to wake up to switch it off - so much for a lie in (although thankfully he did manage to get back to sleep!).

It was the beautiful sunny morning that BBC weather had promised and I decided to go for it.  Heading in the opposite direction where I usually turn for home was hard, and discovering that I wasn't even at the half way point when I did this made it harder, but not as hard as needing the loo for the best part of the entire run, despite numerous 'last wees' before I left. Instead of running along taking in the passing scenery and clearing my head ready to come home fueled up and ready to get on, I spent the majority of it focusing on my various toilet options...

Too early for the pub to be open, no café en route, gentleman standing outside his house having a cigarette happy to help a damsel in distress (but not resembling much of a damsel in my sweaty running gear!), nipping behind a stone wall and negotiating a spot between the nettles having checked there were no dog walkers due to pass by....

At around five miles I passed the end of the street where we used to live and even contemplated knocking on a neighbour's door "Hi! Remember me?? Know I haven't seen you for approximately five years, and I haven't really got time to stop and inquire as to how you are, but I was wondering if you would be so kind as to let me use your loo?!"

In the end I decided just to keep going and for once was incredibly grateful when my legs started to ache and I had something else to focus on!

An hour and nine minutes, 7.34 miles and one hundred and fifty days after I first talked about doing it, I completed my seven mile circuit! YIPPPPPEEEEE!! And I loved it! It was a really nice route to run. Not entirely sure how I feel about carrying on and doing it all again, but for now I am chuffed to bits that I've done it! Glasgow here we come!


M - 597
HM - 154
Glasgow - 14
Distance covered            7.3 miles
Total Distance covered  251.3 miles



Actually I know exactly how I feel about carrying on and doing it all again - incredulous, exhausted and defeatist...  but to quote myself from 'A change of perspective' 25 April 2014
"When I do run those 7 (now 14)  miles it will be the furthest I have ever run and that will be a good day!"

Running up that hill

No problem!

Today was my fiftieth run at Dewbury parkrun! There is a differing of opinion as to which part of the hill counts and whether we run up it three or four times, but what is undisputed is that I have now run a total of 250 kilometres around Crow Nest Park, and because I still work in old money - that's over 150 miles (and roughly a day out of my life!).

It was parkrunfastfinisher's fiftieth run today (huge congratulations for marking it in style with a PB, but not overlooking yours fellow parkrunner!) and his family came along to run and support him. His lovely wife looked as disenchanted with the whole process as you sisterofMG750 and again a little incredulous that we do this for fun, week on week come rain or shine. But sitting outside the café later with tea and flapjack (admittedly not quite the champagne and cake I had dreamed of) and it all starts to make more sense!

A couple of our parkrun family members have been absent recently attending University open days with their sons, and already my mind is racing ahead to my 100th parkrun and I'm wondering if I'll be able to manage it before I am doing the same thing with C next year. Al has pointed out that I'm already missing at least two (Glasgow 10K and Brighton Half) but there's the Christmas Day bonus run and the New Year's Day double (where the Dewsbury run sets off early so there is enough time to make it to Huddersfield who run late). So it is doable if only by the narrowest of margins provided that the weather doesn't interfere with my plans, and the very small point of me remaining parkrun fit for the next year!

Clearly I am having an upswing in mood today - post run euphoria has lasted well into the afternoon - and I'm starting to think about sticking with my original plan of tomorrow being Seven Mile Sunday. Surely if I took it slowly I would be OK, and there is still a fortnight to recover before Glasgow... a quick check on BBC weather and the morning looks sunny, oooh I could be sorely tempted to do this, although an upswing in mood that lasts overnight might be pushing it a bit on current form!

M - 598
HM - 155
Glasgow - 15
Distance covered 3.1 miles
Total Distance covered  244 miles

Free Fall

At least I hope that's what's happening!

The Scots have voted against Independence. In my head it's the right thing, but my heart is tinged with sadness that in reality the dream just didn't seem viable to enough people to make it happen, and after all the build up and anticipation everything just feels a bit flat today.

For someone who is already not riding high on a wave of positivity this isn't really what I need. I've started to see analogies between this and my own hopes and aspirations, which is only adding fuel to my already smouldering fire that I my dream isn't viable either. Although running on Tuesday night I did have a flash of inspiration...

I once went on a Change Management course at Cranfield University and loved every minute of it! It was a wonderfully intense and incredibly stimulating course, just a shame it's then lain dormant for the intervening 18 years!

The bit that has stayed with me is the Kubler-RossTransition Curve, which plots perceived confidence, moral and effectiveness over time and explains how a person reacts to change. Initially using the same skills base that they have to adapt to the change and feeling a short term increase in morale and competence, it then becomes apparent that these old skills are not adequate for the new situation and they start to plummet through anger and frustration and in to depression.  With acceptance of the situation, the learning of new skills and adoption of new behaviours they will start to feel better and climb back up to a point that is eventually better than where they started.  On a personal level, what is less clear is to know whether or not I've hit the bottom, or the worst is yet to come!

But it has given me a glimmer of hope that perhaps having instigated a huge change in my life by starting this (a hundred and fifty days ago!)and my initial wave of success, I've hit free fall which is, in the first instance only to be expected and in the second, something I can pull myself out of, but it will involve me accepting that things aren't always going to work the way I want them to, and that's the bit that I don't like!

Staring at my Etsy shop view statistics is never going to bring in a sale (but I've just checked again on the off chance!) and I am not going to be able to run longer distances without adopting new exercising habits.  I was about to say that I seem to be in denial about this but that puts me back before free fall has even begun and I MUST be further on than that!

M - 599
HM - 156
Glasgow - 16
Total Distance covered  240.9 miles

PS Happy Birthday Etsy Favouriter! x

Displaced

An odd day of reflection

Born and raised in Scotland (but with completely English parentage) I have long since considered myself a Scot, proud of my - albeit first generation - heritage, and fiercely nationalistic when it comes to the Six Nations Rugby although admittedly this was easier back in our heyday of 1990. However waking up this morning when my beloved country is going to vote on independence and not having a say in that process, I have never felt more homesick (and I was bad enough at the Commonwealth Games, or when Al and I watched Tutti Fruiti a couple of summers ago!).

I don't know if, living in England, I should have been entitled to cast my vote, but being denied the opportunity has left me feeling like I'm being penalised for leaving, that suddenly I'm not Scottish enough and my views don't count. Yet I don't feel like I belong here either and I spent my morning feeling detached and displaced and daydreaming about 'home'.

As the day has worn on, I have resigned myself to two facts.  Firstly there is nothing I can do except sit with my fingers crossed whilst we wait to see what the morning brings (which isn't exactly conducive to typing), and secondly I'll be there soon enough running a 10K (which I don't feel in the slightest bit ready for!).

Etsy dance was however danced this morning despite my wistful mood, and will be danced again when the boys get in from school (I know how much they enjoy it!).  Thank you fellow parkrunner for your continued support, and boys I have decided that repeat purchase from friend comes higher than new sale from stranger!  It might not come with the euphoria and excitement of selling to someone unknown and I am still awaiting that day (although I've had three favourites from people I don't know so keeping those fingers crossed....) BUT it means that they like what I've sold them enough to come back and buy more, and that means I'm doing something right.

Al and I have been invited out to see Throwing Muses in Leeds tonight by parkrunfastfinisher... finally a chance to get together without having to run 5K, why didn't we think of this sooner? Which means I've a shower to have, tea to make, dogs to feed, diamantes to stick (onto cards, I hasten to add, not my outfit for this evening), oh and breakfast dishes to clear up... wistful doesn't appear to come hand in hand with productive!

M - 600
HM - 157
Glasgow - 17
Total Distance covered  240.9 miles

Caught in a whirlwind

Everything around me is starting to spin!

I can't believe I sat trying to sort my knitting out all yesterday afternoon like I had all the time in the world - today I don't feel like I've had chance to catch my breath. I'm busy, the boys are busy and the house just feels busy but not in a particularly industrious way if that makes any sort of sense at all?!

Got back in this morning to find that I'd had an order on Etsy and that my friend had also posted a link on FB telling her friends about my shop (thank you Mrs J).  Suddenly my two hour slot before taking Dougal out on our long afternoon schlep around the woods became a bit of a panic -cards to start making, and my Etsy site to update! Conscious that this might bring some new viewers to my shop, I decided that it better be as fully stocked as possible, time therefore to get some other cards listed as soon as possible before I'd missed my window of opportunity.

Back from walking Dougal and it was an early tea before Al went to juggling, H went to drama and I had to go a meeting about the sixth form that C has just entered.  I wish I hadn't.  An hour of listening to how busy he's going to be over the next two years (although in reality it's not as long as that so we'd better start panicking now), how much work he's supposed to do in school, how much he's supposed to do out of school, how important it is to have things to write on his personal statement or else his university place will be given to someone else, how long he's supposed to take choosing his university in the first place! Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!! What happened to him being sixteen and enjoying himself?! I think I actually let a bit of a sarcastic laugh escape when, at the end of the lecture they suggested they would be sending out well rounded, happy students into the world (me thinks not) but thankfully for C I don't think anyone else noticed and I left having only shared my views with a couple of parents and not the headmaster!

Back home for an hour, back out to collect H, back home, both boys suffering from having an early tea so pizza's in the oven for supper, try to watch a bit of the news to see if I can spot schoolfriendofMG750's husband on one of the news reports on the impending Scottish referendum (I couldn't - but have since found the clip on iplayer),  Al comes home buzzing from a meeting about the Leeds Juggling Convention in November and suddenly it's eleven o'clock and I haven't even thought about writing my blog, let alone thinking about what I am going to say!

C's currently casting for the House Drama production next year, H has auditioned for this, something else and returned to drama club already this week (and it's only Wednesday), Al is stage managing (an appearing in) the show at the Juggling Convention - suddenly I'm in a house of lovies and everyone's just a bit more animated than usual! In truth it's really nice to witness, but all I wanted was to sit very quietly in a darkened room for a while and catch my breath!

M - 601
HM - 158
Glasgow - 18
Total Distance covered  240.9 miles

Unravelling

Everything's falling apart!

The best bit about having a haphazard to do list which is yet to be prioritised is that it doesn't matter which bits you choose to do.  I did however decide which one thing was my most important for the day and get it done first before cherry picking my 'job' for the afternoon!

So, ironing over I set about trying to fathom out what was going on with my knitting (it was on the list!).  I think I may have bitten off a little bit more than I can chew with my latest project. It has been almost a year in the making and not yet finished.  I have complicated things by making it in different yarn to the one recommended, on different size needles the result of which is I'm not sure what size it is going to end up, but it looks like it might be a bit of a tight fit! Actually it wouldn't be if I was built in the same proportions as the model wearing it in the picture but I'm not (which is a bit of a shame really). It's one of the worst things about knitting - you don't know what it's going to look like until you've finished and you just have to plough on with your fingers crossed.  Not for the first time I see the similarities between my two 'hobbies' as this is a lot like running. You have a picture in your head of where you want to finish but have no idea when you set off if this is where you'll end up.

Trying to sew in a sleeve on my jumper to see if it works before knitting the second, I make a real mess of it and I have to unpick it, but I unpick the wrong bit and before long it is all starting to unravel.  I then find myself sinking into the depths of self destruct mode as I start to see this as being synonymous with my life at present, which is starting to fall apart at the seams.  My health is getting worse instead of better, I am not making the running progress that I would like, all the little jobs that I hoped I would be able to motivate myself to do still need doing, and I'm beginning to run out of ideas for trying to sell my wares - despite offering everyone £5 and it being a nice round number of sleeps until Christmas today (but I wasn't going to mention that!).

By the time Al gets in from work I'm swithering about whether or not to go for a run and he practically puts my shoes on for me! I'm glad he did, it was the right thing to do as it helped clear my head and give me something else to focus on other than my melancholy outlook on life. Recently Al and I have been grading how well we've run by how long it's taken us to scuff our feet - today I was at the three mile mark, but I'm blaming it on the pavement. By the time I reached four miles there was no doubt it was fatigue!

Return home to a lovely message from fellow parkrunner who LOVES her peg bag! Thank you RLB it was just what I needed to hear and feeling slightly more positive about things I have since sewn my jumper up properly, it's not perfect but it's better than it was, time to crack on and knit that other sleeve because it might just come good in the end....

M - 602
HM - 159
Glasgow - 19
Distance covered 5.8 miles
Total Distance covered  240.9 miles

Cheating

but all in a good cause...

My energy level over the past few days seems to be have been at an all time low, and this evening is no exception, although I have yet to actually fall asleep and it's ten to nine, so perhaps I'm making progress... no I take that back my eyes have just closed, albeit momentarily, this is going to be a struggle!

I've had a busy day socially today which has been lovely, and also kept me from having to look too closely at the to do list, but I have at least made a start and my three week planner is no longer blank. What I haven't managed to do yet is prioritise anything on the list, but having just discovered that H got dressed by torch light this morning I think perhaps sorting his broken bedroom light might be a good start!

My Etsy order of what counts as a proper sale has however hit an all time low, at least according to H (although I think I may have to agree with him).  Last night fellow parkrunner very kindly took advantage of my £5 Etsy voucher and ordered a peg bag (this isn't the low bit!). It worked a treat, she got £5 off and I received the full amount - excellent! Trouble was when my friend (who isn't on line) asked to buy one today I didn't feel it was right to ask her for the full amount when I knew I could get Etsy to pay some of it on her behalf if only she had an account, or alternatively (and this is the low bit) I made my lovely son join Etsy and order it on her behalf! I have tried my best to set his account up so that he won't be swamped with emails offering him suggestions to things he might like (bearing in mind the only thing he's bought is a peg bag so the relevance of these mailshots to a fourteen year old boy isn't likely to be great) and I do hope his contact list doesn't get an email enlightening them all to his latest purchase, not the best for his street cred (but following a similar incident between me and schoofriendofMG750 last night, not beyond the realms of possibility!)*

Run day tomorrow, although I'm not sure how far to go. I think I'd like to do five miles and see if I can get round without my knees hurting. Trouble is I can picture how far away that is from home and right now I just can't see me having the energy to even contemplate going that far. It's not often I wish I had a treadmill, but I can see it's advantages - but I know me and I'd find an excuse to duck out early all the time. Better therefore to be committed to a particular route and just have to keep going till I get home!

M - 603
HM - 160
Glasgow - 20
Total Distance covered  235.1 miles

* I would however like to point out that this was non Etsy related!

A different approach

the success of which remains to be seen!

An early text conversation with sisterofmarathongirl750 this morning enquiring as to how I'm doing, ends with the acknowledged need for me to find a focus and concoct some sort of plan culminating in the Glasgow 10K - three weeks today!

At time of writing I have got as far as drawing out twenty one boxes on a blank sheet of A4 paper but have yet to fill any of them in.  I'm not entirely sure what is putting me off, but I think it may have something to do with there being more jobs that I would like to get done than there is time available, and if I can't do everything then there's no part starting any of it! 

I know what I'm supposed to do to help with this, I'm supposed to write a list and prioritise and break the bigger jobs down into smaller more manageable bits (sound familiar HM?) but I just can't seem to get myself off the starting line.  This is in direct opposition to what happens when I am actually on a starting line when I charge off as fast as I can (despite knowing that really I shouldn't - unless of course it's a sprint) but try as I might I don't seem to be able to apply any of the same thought process to my job list, so what's the difference? Competition! Without it I am struggling to find any motivation and yet I'm not sure how to instigate a cupboard tidying league table that I would find myself wanting to be at the top of! So it's not just as simple as it being a competition, I actually have to want to be good at it. 

Perhaps then I need to try a different approach.  I have two running goals (well three really but leaving the marathon aside for the time being) to run a half marathon in February and still be able to run at the end of it, and to get faster at parkrun.  To achieve these I need to run, but also do my exercises on a more regular basis than I have been doing. To have time to dedicate to doing this, I need to be organised at home. Therefore tidying, filing, cleaning etc, are all actually steps on the same road to me achieving my goal and something I should therefore be motivated to do, they are all means to the same end, yet even as I type I can already feel my resolve to get cracking slipping away from me...

An email in from Etsy offering new customers £5 off their first order, raises my hopes that I might be able to use this to persuade people to buy some cards (or a peg bag), that perhaps this will provide the much needed impetus to encourage people to give my shop a go and I'll be inundated with orders.*
In which case I won't have time to tidy or clean anything... I can but live in hope!

M - 604
HM - 161
Glasgow - 21
Total Distance covered  235.1 miles
Exercises done

* now offering international shipping!

parkrun 50 day!

but I kind of wish it hadn't been, or that I could do it all again...

Having not had the best of weeks and not feeling particularly well I wasn't really up for it being my fiftieth parkrun this morning. With the average number of runs per parkrunner at Dewsbury being slightly less than six, getting to fifty is something to celebrate and makes me part of the elusive (I think that's the right word) parkrun 50 club! But I wasn't in the mood to make a fuss and didn't bake the aforementioned cake. (But thank you for the lovely FB mention this morning fellow parkrunner).

Apprehensive about running after Thursday's disappointing outing I am pleased to report that my legs seems to have recovered and I managed to get round in a time I was happy with and without my knees aching, but after that it all felt a bit flat.

Looking at the results later to see if one of my friends had managed to achieve a PB (she had!) and experiencing a bit of a warm fuzzy moment when I saw the red '50' box next to my name, I spotted something that made me look twice. My other friend who has been away for weeks had done her fiftieth run this morning too! Gutted that we hadn't worked it out (she had no idea either!) what were we doing drinking tea - we should have been supping Champagne!

Having done one of my fifty runs at Huddersfield I have decided that I'll just have to celebrate next week instead when it will be fifty runs at Dewsbury or 200 times up our infamous hill!

I can't help but feel however, that we missed out this morning, so much so that I wish we could turn the clocks back and do it all again - and for once I know that I am not alone, parkrunfastfinisher stopped to tie his lace and missed a PB - gutted for you, I know how galling that must be. But it's your fifty parkrun day next week, so you can join in our celebrations, PB or otherwise.


M - 605
HM - 162
Glasgow - 22
Distance covered 3.1 miles
Total Distance covered  235.1 miles

PS Thank you Al for coming out to support me - even if it did mean running with a hangover!

Deja vu

Over 4000 page views... it's not just me who's been here before - sorry!

I woke up this morning from a recurring dream about being on holiday.  I'll let your mind wander for a bit to picture the tropical beach and palm trees swaying gently in the light but warm breeze, the blue sky and bright sunshine... before I tell you that unfortunately none of this features in my dream! Instead I get a cottage in an undisclosed location, and we're always leaving early the next morning, and there's never anyone around to help, and there is all the packing up and cleaning to do before we've to hand the keys back at some ungodly hour and it's all down to me and there's no way I can get it done - and then I wake up and realise that I'm not on holiday but the anxiety is genuine!

Faced also with my recurrent dilemma of where to start, I decided to ignore all the tidying and cleaning I was so desperate to get chance to do earlier in the week and instead buried myself in the finances. Let's face it, this was never going to cheer me up, but there is a certain solace in knowing where we're at. I even made it to the bank just before closing with some cheques to pay in and am pleased with myself for doing a WHOLE job for once, even if it was at the expense of several others!

Al has gone out this evening with his work colleagues and I'm struggling to stay awake, which is a bit of a poor show given that it's only quarter past eight! Sandwiched between the two dogs on the settee I'm not sure it's even that comfy a place for a nap but given the rate at which my eyes keep closing I don't think it's going to matter.

Fiftieth parkrun tomorrow, if I wake up in time!

M - 605
HM - 163
Glasgow - 23
Total Distance covered  232.2 miles

Rumbled

... sometimes I just like to moan!

I used to work with a girl who would religiously come in every morning and give us her drama for the day, we would then spend the following eight hours trying to come up with various solutions to the problem, none of which would be quite right and she would leave no further forward than she arrived, but having secured everyone's attention in the meantime. It didn't take me long to become wise to her game and stop playing.

Last night, within minutes of posting my blog, I received a text from Mrs J (my Westival Saturday saviour) offering me a lift back from the garage this morning to save me having to walk and I had to reply saying thanks, but no thanks, I've got to walk the dogs anyway. What can I say? I have been rumbled! Caught out! Bluff called! Moaning for the sake of it without any intention of accepting any practical help... But when did this happen? Is this a recent occurrence or (as I suspect) something going much further back?

There is a saying that you get reflected back what you least like about yourself.... have I always been Phillipa? Or worst still one of those ghastly PTA mum's who moan constantly about having too much to do and then refuse any offers of help? (just so as we're clear here - these are rhetorical questions I don't need you to answer!) Although in truth I genuinely did need to walk the dogs and couldn't take of my friend's time for a lift when the first thing I was going to do when I got back was go out for a walk. Even so, and not for the first time, I think a bit of self evaluation mightn't go amiss!

Starting with why I ignored my own, and everyone else's advice to make the increments in the distance I was running gradual, and ran so far on Tuesday! I set off this afternoon to collect my now no longer poorly car with the intention of running past the exit I needed on the Greenway so that I'd run a total of 4 miles by the time I'd finished, but my legs were having non of it, and my right knee in particular. In the end I headed straight for the garage which at two miles is the shortest run I have been on for a VERY long time.

Drowning in the antithesis of post run euphoria, I was particularly unpleasant to Al when he came back in later from his usual five mile route, the closest to post run euphoric that we've seen. I am pleased for you Al, I am just so cross with myself for pushing it too far too soon when I knew exactly what the outcome would be, and listening to you talk about feeling better after following my advice when I'm doing so badly at it was the last thing I needed to hear! Which brings to mind another saying, we teach best what we most need to learn, I will get there one day it's just taking a while for the message to get through!

M - 607
HM - 164
Glasgow - 24
Distance  covered             2.1 miles
Total Distance covered  232.2 miles

Round

like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel... 

The house is a tip. There is stuff lying about that I never got round to doing anything with last week, and this week's stuff has just landed on top of it. The space on my desk is shrinking by the day, I ended up making the cards in the most higgledy piggledy fashion, leaving a trail of destruction in my wake that I've yet to clear up and the ironing mountain is taking over the lounge. All of which is starting to make me feel somewhat claustrophobic and I haven't even found the time to procrastinate, let alone procrastibake!

I did attempt to tidy up the lounge earlier but as I reached over to sort the sofa cushions (which have a very annoying habit of creeping forward when sat on) I felt the hamstring in my right leg tighten... I didn't run all that way yesterday to get injured straightening the settee! Although it may have something to do with walking four miles round the woods this afternoon - even Dougal's got a bit of a limp about him. He'll have to sleep his off, I'm dreaming of a hot bath (one that doesn't need the octopush kit removing from it and then cleaning before I get in it!)

Tomorrow I've to take my poorly car to the garage and then walk the two miles home, before walking (or running?) back to get it in the afternoon which means I'm trying my best not to get too wound up about not being able to get my jobs done before Friday! But as you can tell it really isn't working. I can't help but feel like I'm going round in circles and getting nowhere fast!

It's OK sis, I can hear you telling me to focus on the one thing that will make the biggest difference, I just wish the answer wasn't the ironing!

M - 608
HM - 165
Glasgow - 25
Total Distance covered  230.1 miles

Busy Busy!

so much for sitting back and taking stock.

First thing this morning I text my old friend from Uni (who doesn't read my blog or do Facebook) to tell her I've reached my WaterAid target and thank her for the HUGE part she's played in this.  She replied almost immediately asking what I need her to do next, and I tell her that with 18 months and £1100 to raise for Barnardo's I'm sure I'll think of something.  By the time I get back from dropping the boys off and going to the supermarket there is an Etsy order from her for eleven cards! Which is so lovely, but I can't help but wish I'd told her how exhausted I am! (Any readers who were thinking of purchasing - please don't postpone I'll cope!).

With a busy day ahead I haven't time to walk the dogs and go for a run, so there's only one thing for it - Sid gets a shorter walk more befitting a dog of his years, and Dougal has no choice but to come on my run with me.  He's always better away from the road, so we set off on the Greenway towards Dewsbury knowing that it's six miles from our house to the end of the cycle path and back.  SchoolfriendofMG750 has commented that now the hard work of raising money is out of the way, running should be the easy bit - with this in mind I start concocting a whole new scale of run in terms of hours spent running 'v' hours spent at Westival, and deduce that even if the marathon takes me six hours it will be less than the horrors of Sunday and at two and a half hours the half marathon is now only half of what I went through on Saturday! Easy peasy then!

Running along I completely 'lost' about a mile with no recollection of it passing - I like it when this happens, but it made me start thinking about reversing the route on the way back and I just wasn't in the mood to run the same path home. So, when we got to the end instead of turning round I found myself heading out along the canal tow path with only a rough idea of where we were going! It was a little disconcerting when the canal veered off and I found myself on the far side of a river without any sign of a bridge but eventually we got to where we needed to be to begin the long ascent home. Over a mile uphill with an elevation rise of around 100 metres - I don't know if this will have any meaning to anyone reading this at all but basically it was a long and steady climb which at around the five mile mark was a bit of a killer. The real killer however was starting again after stopping about three quarters of the way up the hill to get Dougal a drink from a hairdresser's only to discover that he didn't want a drink in the first place! The last mile was however much more pleasurable as it was almost all downhill (which I think is why I went that way in the first place) and clocked up my longest run ever at 7.21 miles and just under two weeks ahead of schedule - yes! Legs and knees were starting to complain but held up nicely, it wasn't until I was in the shower that the pain hit me. The sharp stabbing excruciating pain of hot water reaching raw skin!

Talking to the parkrun run director on Saturday he mentioned that he has various different types of running shoes including marathon ones with extra cushioning, I commented on my novice status owning only one pair.  Little did I know I would cross a threshold this week, not in terms of the suitability of my shoes, but rather that of my bra... although I think I may refrain from sharing this anecdote with him, unless of course you feel like messaging him again sisterofmarathongirl750?!

M - 609
HM - 166
Glasgow - 26
Distance covered              7.2 miles
Total Distance covered  230.1 miles

(first) Mission Accomplished!

I've done it!

I have raised my pledge amount of two hundred and seventy five pounds for WaterAid before the 9 September deadline which means that with the Government's pound for pound matching scheme and the addition of Gift Aid, I have raised over six hundred pounds!

It may have almost cost me my dignity in terms of selling my old clothes a few weeks back and my soul this weekend, but I've got there. Thank you to all who helped make this happen. I should be jumping for joy but instead I'm just shattered and still more than a little disheartened at the failure of my Etsy shop. 

I am utterly exhausted, and according to the window cleaner I look it! (Why anyone ever sees the need to tell someone they look tired is beyond me, it is of no surprise to the person you're telling and just makes them feel ten times worse). But it's true, I am. So much so I'm not even going to make any excuses over not running or doing my exercises today. I haven't done either, big deal!

Which is shame because money raised, all I've got to do now is run! (Oh and continue with my Barnardo's fundraising!).

But I think at least for this week I need to spend some time trying to get the house back in order. It's a tip and I am not as organised as I would like to be, which let's face it is probably situation normal, but it's on the brink of having gone too far even for me!

So time to take stock of where I'm at and get back on track a bit, now that the immediate pressure that I put myself under to raise the money by tomorrow is over. And therein lies the crux of the matter, pressure that I put myself under... trouble is I don't know how to do laid back. I think I kid myself that it lies the other side of being really organised, where if all the jobs are done I would be able to calm down a bit and heaven forbid relax! Trouble is I never get to that point so am left with this stress head and a pile of half finished jobs. Something needs to change, and I've a horrid suspicion that that something is me... be warned Al it may be a bumpy road  - like the current one's been smooth!

M - 610
HM - 167
Glasgow - 27
Total Distance covered  222.9 miles

What a difference

a day makes....

How two consecutive days could be so different weather wise is anybody's guess... where yesterday we had rain and rain and more rain, today there were blue skies and sunshine.

It was in fact the perfect morning for a run, and how I really wished that was what I was going to do - in fact I even went as far as to say I was almost envious of Fellow Parkunner heading out for an open air swim, but it was a temporary moment of madness and I have had more than enough time to reconsider my position on this! A quick reorganisation of stuff and off I set back to the delight that was Westival, picking Halfmarathongirl up en route - thank you HM! It was definitely better than the day before... yet still somehow soul destroying.

My problem wasn't with the children (I think I coped well remarkably well given my starting point!) but with the whole concept of the activity table.

With the nicer weather the bouncy castle man was there today, as was a face painter (different lady to yesterday) and it was just hard knowing that parents were paying £1.50 for 10 minutes 'bounce' or £2.50 for 10 minutes having their face painted often having queued for the pleasure, whereas we were only able to ask for £1 for what was at times up to half an hour's entertainment (or in a couple of notable cases well over an hour)...

There appeared to be a differing of opinion over what I was there to do, I think the organisers thought I was there to provide crafting activities for as long as anyone wanted to stay or however many times they wanted to come back but only have to pay once. As the only person there (plus two wonderful friends) who was giving up my time for free in an attempt to raise money I'm not sure how they thought this would work, nor why I would have done it. As it was, we worked for way less than the minimum wage and I'm wondering if I would have been better trying to get a job and donate my wages rather than fundraise!

Packing up at the end of the day, chatting with parkunfastfinisher, I thought for a moment that one of my boxes of materials had been stolen from under the table as I couldn't find it anywhere... this was about to be the final straw and I had my 'flounce' already prepared as I was set to confront the organiser and tell her of my fate. Thankfully the memory of leaving said box at home this morning after my reorganisation surfaced in enough time to save me from the embarrassment of making a total fool of myself - but was somewhat indicative of how much my brain had turned to mush in the course of the day!

The bottom line is that we were more successful than we were yesterday, making £39!! Which in case you've forgotten the staggering total of £11 from yesterday means that I'm now £50 nearer my WaterAid target. But it was a hard way to earn it and not something I think I'll be doing again, although I do have rather a lot of painted egg boxes, pompoms and pipe cleaners left over... which is a shame as I don't think they'd have me back! Oh well! You live and learn.

M - 611
HM - 168
Glasgow - 28
Total Distance covered  222.9 miles

PS Thanks also to Al who did a great job of holding the fort at home all weekend, looking after me nicely when I got home, and showing his moral support by coming to see me and supping beer in the rain and sunshine whilst listening to the bands...

Mere words are not enough...

... to describe quite how hideous it was this afternoon!

I am still learning about the limitations of my hearing. We discovered this morning that if I am lying good ear into the pillow I can't hear the alarm and that I couldn't hear the scanner 'bleep' whilst volunteering at parkrun this morning, but it is unfortunately not limited enough to block out the sound of the music festival this afternoon!

The alarm wasn't a problem, thankfully Al was there to turn it off and wake me up. The scanner was a little more tricky, it's hard to tell whether it has picked up the bar code without hearing it bleep which isn't too much of a problem when I was given the runner's barcode to scan and could move my ear nearer, but when the barcode is fastened to the waistband of male runners shorts there is a limit to how close I want to get!
The music festival, I would happily erase from my mind altogether but there's too many of you waiting to hear how it went...

Firstly may I point out the irony in trying to fund raise money for WaterAid in the teeming rain! It poured, and not just for part of the afternoon but for the whole five hours that I managed to last. This turned our gazebo (which was a bit more like a mini marquee - that leaked) from a crafting and face painting creative space into a refuge for every soggy beer swilling heavy metal fan who wanted a moment's respite from the rain.

Trade was slow and it was a little soul destroying to see the face painter earning £2.50 a face for 5-10 minutes work, when we were struggling to get a £1 donation for a lot longer! My friend who I've known for a long time had very kindly offered to come and help (although I have since learned that her offer may have been alcohol induced!) I couldn't have got through the afternoon without you Mrs J... thank you, you were a life saver!

Al put an appearance in mid afternoon and has informed me that rather than being 'thrash metal' the music was just rock, whatever it was it was dreadful!

I didn't get any OCD children to sit and sew with, but think I coped relatively well with those who wanted to do their own thing (perhaps with a couple of exceptions!).

And for whilst I really can't explain to you just how wet and souless and loud and miserable the whole afternoon was there were three good things to come out of it....
Firstly I got to spend the afternoon with my friend and we've not seen each other for ages (although I have a feeling it may be a while before she wants to see me again!). Secondly the face painter has very kindly offered to let me use her stuff to be the face painter at the Leeds Juggling Convention in November (although I may need a few lessons between now and then!). And last but by no means least, I managed to make a profit of a whole eleven pounds... which means that tomorrow is entirely a profit making venture... bet you can't wait Halfmarathongirl!

M - 612
HM - 169
Glasgow - 29
Total Distance covered  222.9 miles

I'm Back!

But thanks Al for stepping up to help last night...

It was a difficult decision to chose between Al's offer to help paint egg boxes or write my blog last night, and I'm not sure whether my choice to let him write my blog was based more on the fact that I was exceptionally tired and not feeling particularly verbose, or my inability to delegate anything creative - no prizes for guessing where my money is!

I was very restrained and left him alone to get on with it, but I did see the title 'The other side of marathongirl750' which set my mind racing....

What was he going to talk about? What would he say about me?  Would he write my blog as if he were me observing my day, or would he take the opportunity to vent his spleen over what it's really like being the other half of marathongirl750 - how nice it must be to go for a run in the sunshine whilst he's a work, and quite how many times in the past 137 days he's had to cook the tea or do the washing up because I've been too busy.... Sitting out of sight but within ear shot of the computer I deduced by the speed at which he was typing he was definitely venting!

I allowed him the same courtesy I get every evening which is to publish unseen by anyone else, and anxiously awaited the time to come for us both to be together but for me to do the reading for once.

A diary! I was wrong on both counts, it wasn't about me at all! He hadn't written my blog, but used my platform to blog! Somewhat confused as to the approach he'd taken and trying not to sound too reproachful of it, I suddenly realised these were the words of a man trying to get a word in edgeways!

Dear Al, I guess you didn't feel the need to tell everyone what it's really like being married to me, you already have the sympathy of every reader... but I will take the opportunity to thank you for all your support. There is no doubt that I couldn't have undertaken any of this without it and you are doing all you can to make it a success, not often at the expense of your juggling but frequently at the cost of guitar practice! I take you for granted but I do know how incredibly fortunate I am to have you, and I love you dearly. This doesn't mean however that I will be resuming my domestic duties anytime soon, and if you could look after me especially nicely this weekend please - I think I'm going to need it!

Right boxes packed and ready to roll.... Westival here I come!

M - 613
HM - 170
Glasgow - 30
Distance covered 4 miles (not often that sisterofmarathongirl750 runs further than me - Well done sis!)
Total Distance covered  222.9 miles

The other side of marathongirl750

Guest blogging is allowed in exceptional circumstances.

And so I've been given the keys to this blog because of a busy house, there are egg boxes and paper and other art supplies and paraphernalia all over the surfaces that I'm not normally allowed to put my stuff on.  Like I say it's a busy house, we're on blue alert ahead of this weekend's Westival where MG is hosting the arts and craft tent. 

Well MG gets to tell you all about her day and how she feels about it, it's all very cathartic I can tell you.  I last wrote a diary ten years ago but have never managed to find the inclination to do so again, here goes.

I went back to school on Monday and it all feels as if I've never been away.  Straight away there are jobs I should be doing, things I should have kept up to date but haven't and will need very soon.  A new set of children and some old faces too.  I've been thinking today and yesterday about the best way to introduce trig to a bunch of year 11s who will end up at grade B at the end of the year.  There just seems to be two or three avenues into the subject and I'm trying to cover all the bases.  My cupboard in a mess, my desk is heading in the same direction and my form group are moody. But hey only 39 weeks of it left.  I know that people with real jobs will point out the holidays and stuff but every year I feel like I'm starting a new job I just know where the photocopier and stationary cupboard are. 

I hurt my shoulder last week, I fell off my skate board.  I'm aware that I've been complaining about it lots and I am grateful to MG for not making comments along the lines of me being a man and men not coping with pain or illness very well.  The last couple of days it's got better.  I juggled last night and felt much better than last week.  I couldn't do anything too complicated with my left hand.  I was passing with my usual partner, we build up to throwing tomahawks with both hands in a six club ultimate pattern.  We throw clubs, of which we have three each, at each other with both hands every time we throw a club and we throw them over hand, like you would throw an axe or tomahawk.  My left hand couldn't cope.  We managed 7 club three count which is an ambidextrous pattern.  The Leeds juggling convention is the last weekend of November and the show needs organising so there was lots of chat about that, I'm overseeing the show this year having only been a stage manager last time, so a promotion of sorts.

This evening I had a guitar lesson.  I bought an acoustic for my birthday and have had a couple of lessons with that instead of my electric.  I was good tonight, although no one has asked how it went yet.  Been struggling with some arpeggios but made some progress.  I'd been leaving my figures on the strings which had made the notes rubbish so tonight I practised changing my practice with a drum beat and it went well.  It's back to improvising around two pentatonic shapes on my electric in a fortnight.  I'd better dig it out and get some work done.

Well thanks for reading this don't know if this will ever happen again and I don't know if I'm going to start one of my own.  Actually I do know and I'm not. 

I've just been told that it has to be about running and I knew I'd got some parkrun news.  A woman at work stopped me on the stairs and asked if I ran at Dewsbury and if I'd been marshalling last week.  So not only had I not spotted her in the last five or so times she has been there but I gave her a token and said well done.  She wasn't sure it was me, but I hadn't even noticed her, but will make sure I say hello this week and talk her into coming for a coffee with us after.

So I hope you've understood my ramblings and I'll see you at parkrun. 
May every page you turn be a Satchel Paige.



M - 614
HM - 171
Glasgow - 31
Total Distance covered  218.9 miles
Exercises and arts and craft preparations done

Pre-school?!

They'll have to play on the bouncy castle! There's serious crafting to be done in my gazebo!

Finally the postman brings me some of my crafty stuff and I am able to put some of my ideas together, but I'm really regretting sticking my head in the sand over this for so long, because now that I actually want to get my head around it I'm worried that I won't have enough time to get it all sorted!

It has been pointed out that perhaps I am trying to over plan this a bit too much, but I can't help it. It's how I am, and it is also my coping mechanism against the horror of chaos that awaits, although I'm not altogether sure how this works. I arrive with all these beautifully planned craft ideas and watching them dissolve into a sea of glitter as a mass of unchained creativity is unleashed upon me is somehow preferable to turning up with a box of bits and just letting them get on with it? I'm not sure I've thought this through...

But my need to feel organised is winning over any more realistic advice and at least if I'm there with examples of what can be done with the stuff that I'm taking, then I can either assist with making those, or leave them to 'do their own thing' whilst helping the one child with a similar level of OCD to me who would really like to sit and sew a hair bobble pompom whilst sitting as far away from the glue as possible!

With my head in such a spin I haven't found time to do my exercises today - but I haven't given up hope of getting them done later! I am however pleased with the fact that I feel no worse than normal after yesterday's run, and if I could only bear to go upstairs and use the foam roller on my calf muscles I could feel better than normal! 

Right! Enough sitting around writing about how much I've got to do, time to actually get on and DO some of it! But perhaps a wee cup of tea before I start...


M - 615
HM - 172
Glasgow - 32
Total Distance covered  218.9 miles
Exercises at least thought about!

Optimism

But no energy to do anything with it!

C started sixth form today, and not surprisingly didn't want me to take him! So instead of sitting at home feeling redundant (until H who is more than happy to accept a lift starts back tomorrow) I decided to make the most of my 'free' time and go for my run early.

It was a gorgeous morning, not a cloud in the sky and yet not too warm for running. I had spent some time on the internet playing with different routes to tweak my usual 5 mile route up a bit and was quite excited about running by the time I set off.

Some days I wonder what on earth I am putting myself through all this for, other days I know exactly why I'm doing it. Today was one of the later. I loved it. I even made a very half hearted attempt at doing some short sprints just before I made it home, but it was the wrong time to do it when my legs were already tired and I could feel it in my knees so decided to stop, but it did give me a fairly impressive fastest pace on my Garmin stats later (in fairness this would be more useful if it said  - fastest pace xxx, maintained for xxx secs, I would be surprised if mine was longer than two!).

Awash with post run euphoria I then spent the morning feeling invincible, that the world was my oyster and just how many of those irksome jobs that I never seem to get round to I was going to blitz. In reality I haven't quite mastered the technique of turning these moments of mental strength into action, and by lunchtime I just felt tired! My head however was still dreaming of greatness which is an awful lot better than worrying about Christmas, and lets face it anything that makes me feel optimistic is a bonus!

Al has yet to experience post run euphoria on quite the same level, if at all, and returns home from his run this evening just looking exhausted, but he liked the route he ran and is thinking it will become his set one for a while which is progress in itself as it's a couple of miles further than his previous one. It's a shame that we didn't run together, especially as I've missed him loads today, but I have a feeling he ran faster than me (sprint training aside!).

Halfmarathongirl and Fellow Parkrunner have shown an interest in coming on my route with me which will be nice, and although sisterofmarthongirl750 has suggested meeting us en route with refreshments she's not getting out of it that easily...  may I remind you sis that Brighton was your idea however much you did it for me.

So five and half mile route done, next up six miles! But the best bit is that today's run actually turned out to be nearer six so really I'm as good as there, although I may need reminding of that when I'm trying to psyche myself up to run next week - I know me a little too well to expect the optimism to last that long!

M - 616
HM - 173
Glasgow - 33
Distance covered             5.8 miles
Total Distance covered  218.9 miles

Procrastibaking*

* The practice of baking something in order to put off doing something else you need to do.

I don't like it when Al goes back to work and I don't want it to be September, so it's not too hard to deduce that today hasn't been the best of days.

It's clear I haven't been on my own for a while, because at the first opportunity for my mind to wander aimlessly, unchecked and uninterrupted it's off - full steam ahead to previously unchartered waters and I've started worrying about running out of time to get everything sorted for Christmas! I think I'd like to be taken out and shot now please.

A little bit more self analysis (always such a fruitful use of my time) and I think I'm employing some blocking out technique so that I don't have to think about the intervening time too closely.... now if only I could come up with some suggestions as to why that might be the case?!

I know that I need to sit down and write myself a plan for this coming week up to AND INCLUDING this weekend, and I know I need to have a look beyond that and get some other things that I need to get my head around sorted, or at least in my book to contemplate later, but somehow I couldn't quite get myself into the right headspace to start. I think I was hoping that the postman might have delivered those pompoms and googly eyes for me to sit and while away the afternoon with, but no such luck.

Instead I have had to resort to my newly found and much loved term - procrastibaking - thank you so much to whichever one of my FB friends brought the term into my consciousness, I think it may have been you Murph but I can't find the link, I have however found a whole Facebook community dedicated to the art!

On closer inspection the posts all seem to be from around 3 years ago - which begs the question what's happened to my kindred spirits? Is it possible that once you embrace this method of procrastination you will at some point have eaten so much cake that you feel compelled into action and it is thus some sort of self cure? Only one way to find out....

M - 617
HM - 174
Glasgow - 34
Total Distance covered  213.1 miles

Etsy order in- thank you Fellow Parkrunner! Dance danced - don't care what the boys think! (To either their opinion of what counts as a 'proper' sale, or what I looked like!)