Sid

With no funeral this is the closest Sid will get to a eulogy and I need to do this, so please bear with me....

A little over seven and a half years ago Sid ran away from home and arrived in Cocoa Mountain*. Located in a small village in the very north west of Scotland it didn't take our good friend (and world class chocolatier) long to find out whose dog he was and take him home, only to discover that Sid was living in an outdoor kennel and at ten years old was soon to be bound for the dogs home in Inverness two and half hours away.

Due to arrive on holiday a few days later, our fate was sealed before we even got there - lo and behold we came home with a dog!  And what a fabulous little dog he was (apart from when he met a dog he didn't like at which point he was rather feisty and dare I say a little on the vicious side!).

He was however the absolute epitome of taking things in his stride, nothing phased him.  For those of you unfamiliar with what the north west of Scotland looks like, it looks like this...

Yet we brought Sid 500 miles south to the post industrial delight that is our home and he didn't bat an eyelid, he just found things to enjoy that he hadn't before: woods, autumn leaves, chasing squirrels and catching hedgehogs.  He was our go everywhere dog, and when we went on the train to the South East of England we took him with us, when that involved crossing London on the Underground he did that too.  When we needed to sneak him into our friends holiday apartment he was happily popped inside a bag and carried in incognito.  

Visiting the vets aside, nothing seemed to take him out of his comfort zone, he just got on with it and seemed to take delight in discovering what was to be found in every new situation, and if I am to take anything forward from this then I hope it's the courage to emulate that attitude a little more often.

It's been an odd first day without him, there is no doubt in our minds that his time was up and we are all taking comfort from the fact that he is at peace, but for a small dog he has left an awfully big hole in our house.  

Thankfully there is enough love, and a rather confused big dog, to fill that space, just might take us a while....

M - 406

Liverpool Half - 75

Glasgow Half - 187
Total Distance covered   520.9 miles

* http://www.cocoamountain.co.uk/

Day 344

Otherwise known as the day we said goodbye to Sid...

Our hearts are breaking but we wouldn't have been without you. You were and always will be the best thing that ever happened to our family. Sleep tight little one.

Perseverance

Digging deep...

My little dog is poorly.  Actually he's not poorly he's just old and I hope I'm wrong but I don't think we've got much longer with him.  To the extent that Al came home today to spend some time with him -and me (and he hadn't even read yesterday's blog). The boys have been brilliant sitting with him and making sure he's not left on his own. It's a sad time but we'll look after him the best we can for as long as he needs us.

Life just seems a little hard at the moment, and all the fight of last Sunday seems to have left me.  My hips hurt and it feels like such a long time since I've actually enjoyed running that I can't help but wonder what I'm doing it all for.  On the other hand I also know that given how emotionally draining the past week or so has been it's little wonder I'm feeling like I do now, but it will pass, I've just got to hang on in there.

Which is why I found myself outside the gym at half past eight this morning waiting for it to open. Actually it was C who encouraged me to go, admittedly from his bed, but thank you.  I'm glad I did it. He also pointed out that I am pushing more weight than I was when I started so I must be getting stronger, even if I'm not in a place to acknowledge it. Nor it seems, am I able to put my parkrun times into context!

It's beginning to get to me that I can't run as fast as I used to.  What I seem incapable of appreciating is firstly that I've had an injury, secondly I often run parkrun at the end of a longer run, and thirdly I know from experience that improvements do not come on a linear week on week basis. So why am I expecting them to?! Because I've been to the gym seventeen times now and I'd like to see some kind of reward for my efforts!

5x50 Challenge starts today (5K a day, for 50 days) - seems odd not doing it having done so for the past two years.  I did contemplate signing up and substituting my exercises for the 5K run, but in much the same vein as the transformation programme at the gym, I don't need anything else to beat myself up over at the moment.  I need to focus on doing what's right for me, and not try too hard to stick to a fifty day goal irrespective of the consequences.  But for anyone up for a challenge I thoroughly recommend it!

M - 408

Liverpool Half - 77

Glasgow Half - 189
Total Distance covered   520.9 miles

Day 342

1.  The trouble with mapping a route on the computer is that it is too easy not to really take on board where it is you will be running, and even though we kept referring to 'the tip' or rather household waste recycling centre, I don't think either of us were prepared for the smell! It was a rather grim experience and not one that I think we'll be repeating.

2.  Parkrun itself was wet, windy and exceptionally hard going, and to think I'd looked forward to it -  really need to find a different hobby!

3.  However six miles completed in total and the first week of training is behind us! Hips aren't quite as happy with it as I'd like them to be, but not running again now until Tuesday, plenty of time to recover...

4.  This is supposed to be a list of positive things that have happened today, in which case I hope you have a lovely time at the British Juggling Convention Al, but I'm going to miss you dreadfully and am struggling to find many benefits to your not being here, sorry that should read 'any'!

5. Hey! Just remembered the clock's go forward tonight.... you'll be home an hour sooner Mr L! Unfortunately just not for another week.

M - 409

Liverpool Half - 78

Glasgow Half - 190
Distance covered 6 miles
Total Distance covered   520.9 miles

Day 341

1.  I have done all my jobs on my (albeit abridged) To Do List! The fact that I haven't added to it since Wednesday is perfectly acceptable.

2.  The fact that I'm not writing another one until Monday is also fine.

3.  Bit of a sad day taking Sid the dog for his last trip around the fields.  Saving some miraculous recovery in his back legs it's just got too far for him and he is being put on reduced exercise.

4.  With the odd twinge in my hips I think I should be joining him, and not trying to complete the first week of a twelve week half marathon training plan.

5.  That said I am actually looking forward to going to parkrun in the morning, and running the new three mile route to get there that HMG and I mapped out yesterday.

M - 410

Liverpool Half - 79

Glasgow Half - 191 
Total Distance covered   514.9 miles

Day 340

1.  HMG arrived first thing for our two mile run.  On the one hand it was hardly worth getting our kit dirty for, on the other it was awfully nice to know that it would be over in twenty minutes.

2. Think our legs must have got the message that it was a short one, we ran it in record time!

3.  Lovely as it was to spend the rest of the morning and lunchtime with HMG and the afternoon walking Dougal (Sid went on a shorter walk this morning) it didn't leave a lot of time for any jobs, and I'm not sure I can really count doing yesterday's washing up as an achievement for the day.

4.  Utterly exhausted this evening, I had a bath about 8pm and nipped under the duvet for a few minutes whilst I dried off, next thing I knew it was Friday morning.  Thank you Al for chauffeuring C, tidying up the kitchen, putting the dogs to bed and anything else I might have missed whilst I slept.  Quite what I'm going to do without you next week is anyone's guess.

5.  I have reached nine thousand page views - Thank you!

M - 411

Liverpool Half - 80

Glasgow Half - 192 
Distance Covered                 2 miles
Total Distance covered   514.9 miles

Day 339

1. One training run in to my half marathon plan and my appetite has return with a vengeance.  Spent most of the day scouring the cupboards for things that might curb my carbohydrate and sugar cravings!

2. Asked for advice at the gym this morning about how to revert the damage caused by too many lunges on Monday night at Boot Camp - did the answer really have to be Foam Roller?! I was so hoping for hot bath and no more exercise for the rest of the day.

3. The job I had been carrying forward on the most recent manifestation of my To Do list has been done! I am slightly horrified that it first appeared on my list in October and somewhat ashamed that my friend has had to wait quite so long for a reply to his email!

4. Returned to the gym this evening with C and did my foam rollering for far longer than I've ever managed to maintain at home. Stopped short of getting on a treadmill this week, preferring instead to play at being C's personal trainer - far easier to watch someone else than do it yourself!

5. Having foam rollered I think I might have earned that hot bath.... night!

M - 412

Liverpool Half - 81

Glasgow Half - 193
Total Distance covered   512.9 miles

Day 338

1. My Liverpool Half Marathon training has begun - thanks for motivating me to get out and get on with it sis.

2. My boot camped buttocks don't quite know what's hit them, man they ache! It was a very slow three and a half miles this lunchtime but I did it.  Fingers crossed they've recovered a little by Thursday.

Sneak Preview

3.  I have stuck with my 'To Do' list two days in a row, and there is only one job that has been carried forward from yesterday to today, and by the looks of it into tomorrow!  Finally putting my 'Stop Procrastinating' job list pad into use that my sis bought me in Brighton -not that she knows me well!

4. Had a nice hour making a greeting card this afternoon. Not the most cost effective venture at a profit return of £1.31 per hour, but I had a nice time. Besides which;

5. Getting from standing to sitting or sitting to standing isn't quite as easy as it usually is (see point 2). Once down I was grateful of the excuse to stay put!

M - 413

Liverpool Half - 82

Glasgow Half - 194
Distance Covered              3.5 miles (only another 176 training miles to go before Liverpool!)
Total Distance covered   512.9 miles

Day 337

1. Didn't get a chance to mention yesterday that Al has been to get his parkrun runner of the month prize trainers.  Al doesn't do shopping and to be fair, I'm not sure he really enjoys running all that much so it was a surprise to see him come home buzzing and full of excitement. Wish I could say he'd finally been well and truly bitten by the running bug but no.... turns out the shop assistant was a fellow juggler and took him into the back shop to let him have a go on her Ripstik (it's a bit like a skateboard and apparently not a euphemism!).

2. SisterofMG750 has made it to her 'I've been to the gym ten times' reward - happy shopping sis!

3. I've been to Boot Camp!!!!!!!!!!

4. The instructor started off by saying it was designed to take me out of my comfort zone... way ahead of you on that front! Already out of mine just by being there! But I did what I could despite being no where near the correct number of repetitions (Twenty burpees?  I don't think so!). Transpires that the instructor and I are both clients of the Biomechanics Man and the conversation moved very quickly from how good he is, to how much pain he's been known to inflict! I'm hoping affinity will mean Boot Camp Man will go easy on me next week! Yes! I'm thinking of going back!

5. It was really nice having C in the gym at the same time as me, even if I am slightly envious (and a little surprised) at the fact that he can do chin ups! Think I'll concentrate on one press up first!

M - 414

Liverpool Half - 83

Glasgow Half - 195
Total Distance covered   509.4 miles

Pause

For thought...

On Friday evening I learnt that there had been a fire at the home of my friend's parents and they had been unable to save her brother from the fire.

The horror of this has engulfed me, and for the second time since starting my blog I have been completely floored by the cruel blows life has dealt to my friends.  In the first instance, my friend was fortunate, her tumour turned out to be benign, in this instance there is no happy ending. The immeasurable sadness and horrific nature of his death will never leave them.

There is no explanation as to why such things happen, but this time rather than be struck with an overwhelming feeling of how futile life is (or maybe just mine in particular) the only thoughts that have come to me have been to get out there and make the most of the life we've got, for as long as we've got it. In the wake of such tragedy it is all we can do.

Tomorrow marks the start of the next twelve week training plan that will take HMG and me to the Liverpool Half Marathon. I am both excited and apprehensive at the prospect! I don't think my injury issues are fully behind me, but they are on the mend, and whilst I am hopeful that my continued attendance at the gym will help with this, I am a bit worried that it's not going to go quite the way I want it to.

Perhaps what I should have learnt from Brighton is that it doesn't have to.

Twelve weeks will also see me having made my application to Barnardo's and hopefully I will be a step nearer realising my London Marathon dream.

I don't want to make that application without my long overlooked Etsy shop back up and running, which again both excites and makes me slightly anxious at the prospect of being so busy!

I've had a good week.  Definitely helped being more focused and simplifying what I was trying to achieve.  I need to build on this and factor in the additions to my week in a more structured way so as not to overwhelm me, nor fragment my time to an extent that nothing gets done.

This is my life and whether I understand what it's all about or not, it is the only one I've got, time to get living and make the most of it.  With the unquantifiable support from Al and my sis, the love of my children, support of my running partner HMG, extended parkrun family, and blog readers not forgetting my own determination I CAN do this!

I don't know how to help my friend, I live too far away to be of any practical help. So in the absence of anything better I am going to take up the challenge of the next twelve weeks in respect of the challenges facing her family on an hourly basis. If they can find a way through and survive this, then I can bloody well cross that finish line in Liverpool on my feet, having run the whole way, with my marathon place secured for London 2016, some beautiful bags for sale on Etsy and those sodding suitcases that I seem to find it so hard to part with no longer in the chuffing airing cupboard!

M - 415

Liverpool Half - 84

Glasgow Half - 196
Total Distance covered   509.4 miles

Day 335

1.  Sub twenty six minutes at parkrun! Legs OK but it felt like a LONG way.... did I really run thirteen miles?!

2.  Post parkrun cafe contingent was almost complete! So good to have everyone back after what has seemed like an incredibly long winter during which some of us have struggled and some have flourished.  There was however a general mood of optimism and talk of PB's, not least when the news that SC had missed her's by a second arrived whilst we were still in the cafe. Well done... and fingers crossed for next week.

3.  Thank you Mrs Motivator for spotting that despite the general up beat ambience all was not well and for your much needed hug.

4.  Thank you C and Etsy Favouriter for spending time with me this afternoon, had a good laugh (mainly at my expense!), got to avoid watching the rugby, and got to watch the Great British Sewing Bee over dinner because Al had watched the sport uninterrupted (although perhaps peppered with the odd snooze?).

5.  IT Bands unfortunately started to tighten over the course of the day, but am hopeful that with some tennis ball treatment between now and Tuesday I'll be on course to start training - plan on it's way HMG!

M - 416

Liverpool Half - 85

Glasgow Half - 197 
Distance covered                3.1 miles 
Total Distance covered   509.4 miles

Day 334

1.  Back in the gym first thing! Odd morning with lots of spatially unaware people who seemed to just appear in the space I was working in with very little regard for the fact that I was there first! The Prowler (Geoff Capes dead weight push contraption) wasn't where it normally was which meant this man was coming back and forth in front of where I was working, and appeared to be making exceptionally hard work of pushing it with only ten kilogrammes of weights on each side. Came to my turn I increased the weight (albeit only by an extra 10Kg) and set off feeling rather smug, only to discover that I could barely shift it let alone run.  NEVER underestimate the resistance force working against you on a piece of carpet not worn down into the equivalent of a bob sleigh run!

2.  The clouds parted just enough for me to glimpse the total eclipse of the sun, which was beautiful (I ignored all safety advice and looked straight at it, and then spent a good fifteen minutes out on the street starting at the sky hoping for another sighting, only to discover I'd been staring at the wrong spot!)

3.  Some positive feedback from my friend who received a new look birthday card from me, and an advert in our local council magazine spurred me into making initial contact about the chance of a one off market stall later in the year to sell my (as yet unmade) wares.

4.  Given my recent aversion to tennis balls (following the pain that is inflicted when rolling on top of one) I have never been so pleased to see one as I was this afternoon when the item dangling out of Dougal's mouth as he appeared dancing over the horizon, turned out to be an old ripped one and not some piece of animal pelt.

5.  My world was turned upside down this evening following some horrific news. I'm working on trying to process it, and holding on tightly to those I love in the meantime.

M - 417

Liverpool Half - 86

Glasgow Half - 198
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 333

1. Forgot to point out yesterday that it was two hundred days to Glasgow... plenty of time to get fit, get injured, and get fit again!

2. In which case I'd better get on with the first get fit campaign! Almost in the right head space to look out and tailor our training plan HMG #gettingexcited!

3. I was never going to be quite as efficient or productive as yesterday, but I wasn't idle nor did I spend much of the day procrastinating - this may have coincided with the internet going down again.

4. Thankfully it's been fixed.  Still not the best sales pitch for my refer a friend offer from last week, even if I have since discovered that you too will get £50 for signing up.... really I can't tempt anyone?!

5. There is every possibility that I would still be in the fields awaiting Dougal's return, if it hadn't been for a very kind and patient gentleman who helped distract Dougal enough to entice him away from the rabbit skin he had found and was prancing around the field with.  Picking it up and putting it in a bag so I could dispose of it in the bin however went above and beyond the call of duty of any good Samaritan, and I am eternally grateful.  Felt it was only fair to warn H of his antics before he opened the back door...

M - 418

Liverpool Half - 87

Glasgow Half - 199
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 332

1. I don't know what made today different, perhaps it was waking up to the sun shining, but I got up, stripped the bed, put the sheets in the washing machine, took the boys to school, went straight to the gym, came home, hung the washing outside to dry, went for a shower and was back downstairs by the time I would normally be arriving at the gym...

2. In light of recent 'conversations' I have decided to invite Leonardo Di Caprio to the gym with me as well as Kevin Bacon, there is a stretching exercise at the end which involves adopting a stance similar to that held by Kate Winslet on the front of the Titanic, seems only fitting that he is there too, (but keep it to yourselves the gym was lovely and quiet this morning and I'd like to keep it that way).

3. The airing cupboard got an unexpected tidy this afternoon - in making the bed I couldn't find the bottom sheet, pulled everything out looking for it, and put it back neatly, couldn't find it anywhere... before discovering I had already put it on the bed!

4. Went BACK TO THE GYM THIS EVENING! Had to drop H at drama, and decided that rather than come home and then go back out to pick up C after his workout, I would go and wait for him on the treadmill, followed by a bit of cycling and a very short stint on a cross trainer. Am expecting an email to say that my card must have been lost and found by someone else as it was used twice today!

5. The centipede is finished! Hallelujah! 

M - 419

Liverpool Half - 88

Glasgow Half - 200
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 331

1. I have come to the conclusion that I prefer chaos! Days that go according to plan (and involve housework) bore me rigid.

2.  Had I not been meeting my friend for a walk this morning, I might have been tempted to go for a run.

3.  I have a new pain in my right hip so it's probably just as well that I didn't! Could I just stop aching- please?!

4.  I am seriously considering attending a gym class next week whilst C is at the gym.  This is so far out of my comfort zone I may enter it again from the other side having travelled round the earth to get there!

5.  It's very hard to put the transformation's grand plan of getting to bed by ten o'clock every night into practice when your son needs collecting at ten past!

M - 420

Liverpool Half - 89

Glasgow Half - 201
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 330

1. From the number of people in the gym this morning, I thought word must have got out about Kevin's appearance!

2. Despite it being far too busy for my liking I didn't turn round and make a quick exit.

3. I felt better for having been.

4. If I thought going this morning was hard, it was nothing compared to returning this evening for the six week fat club weigh in! But curiosity got the better of me and I couldn't stay away!

5. There is less of me than there once was in certain places and more of me in others! I have managed to loose 3lbs, half an inch off my upper arm, a whole inch off my bust, half an inch off my waist and gain a quarter of an inch around my leg?! (I haven't been working hard enough for it to be muscle!).

M - 421

Liverpool Half - 90

Glasgow Half - 202
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Ren McCormack

and the concept of Did Not Finish...

Towards the beginning of last week I found myself having an internal conversation with the Gym Man, blaming his not sending me a vegetarian alternative to the transformation diet on my non performance, before somehow working out that it was then his fault that I no longer want to go to the gym and as a result could I please have my money back.  Thankfully I didn't have time to construct this into an email.  I know the response would have been one telling me to take responsibility for my own actions and that cake and copious pieces of toast weren't on the diet sheet, meat eaters or otherwise, so whose fault is it that I've still been eating them? As for not wanting to go to the gym, as I rarely see him when I go and he doesn't acknowledge me when I do, I'm not sure how off putting he really is, I am, it seems, just intent on finding an excuse to quit.

Finding a rare five minutes last week to check Twitter to see how my 'friend' Ira did at the Trans Gran Canaria Ultra Marathon (only seventy eight miles and a total elevation gain of twenty eight thousand feet!) I learned that he, along with three hundred and forty six other people - one person less than half of those who started - didn't finish.  Reading his blog* I was however filled with optimism about recognising when enough is enough.

So I have decided to put the past three weeks of my six week transformation plan into the category of DNF.  This time, this wasn't for me.

As a result I have then been able to dissect and analyse why.  First and foremost did I just not want it enough? Possibly.  In addition I think I underestimated the time that committing to it fully would take and by jumping in and trying to do everything at once, I ended up doing all of it rather half heartedly. By failing to plan how I was going to incorporate this into my daily routine, I also set myself up to fail as the rest of my life not only caught up with me, but also kind of swallowed me whole as I tried unsuccessfully to fit everything in.  Under pressure my desire to eat cake intensified. Pushed to my limits my body decided it needed some time out and I succumbed to a rather horribly lurgy which knocked me off my feet for a while, whilst I tried to run screaming for cover in a pile of fabric to fashion into costumes that I've spent far too long on, but has stopped me having to think about anything else in the meantime!

Question now is, where do I go from here? Answer.... back to the gym!

But that's all.  No diet, no airing cupboard. Just the gym. Monday, Wednesday and possibly Friday. Fitted in without the rest of my jobs coming to a standstill.

I don't want to go.  In fact I'm dreading it.  But this time it is going to be different.  This time I am not going alone.  In the aforementioned blog, the talented Ira Rainey, shared what he has coined the 'Footloose Syndrome' - that basically it is OK to happily exist within the safety of the boundaries that we build around ourselves but that we all need a metaphorical Ren McCormack to come and shake us out of our comfort zones every once in a while. For Ira, his Ren is running, for me, at this present moment in time, it's the gym...  although (sorry Al) I think I'd get on much better if I imagine Kevin Bacon actually being there! Although that said, perhaps it's all for the best that he's only there in my mind's eye - the gym would be way too busy for me to even set foot in if he actually was!

M - 422

Liverpool Half - 91

Glasgow Half - 203
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

http://www.notbionic.co.uk/random/footloose-syndrome/

Day 328

1. By far and away the best thing about today was the news that sisterofMG750 is joining me and HMG at the Glasgow Half! (twenty nine weeks tomorrow sis... too early to book a table for lunch twenty nine weeks today schoolfriendofMG750?)

2. Didn't make my goal of a sub twenty six minute parkrun because I didn't go! Listening to my body instead which is telling me to give my dodgy leg another week's recuperation, which is a positive thing.


3. I will however be back soon and eventually I will be fitter and faster than ever before, but I may never again catch parkrunfastfinisher who smashed his PB this morning - WELL DONE! Soooo close to sub twenty three...  soooo where I'd like to be (again boding the question of why I decided to go after a long distance goal?!)

4. H's 'dress' has been restructured using forty metres of garden wire into something slightly less girlie,.

5. I may have FINISHED SEWING but I've still got thirty eight shoes to make, and I'm still not entirely sure how I'm going to make them!

M - 423

Liverpool Half - 92

Glasgow Half - 204
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 327

1.  Geeeez what a week! BUT I made it to Friday!!!! In addition;

2.  Everyone else in the house made it fed, clothed and watered to all the numerous different places they've needed to be all week too!

3.  After a lovely time eating tea with H, he is now ensconced back in his room, C is in Manchester, Al is out on the piss and at half past eight on Friday night I can finally sit down, relax and do what I want to do.....

4. Which, it transpires is fall asleep on the sofa for two hours!

5.  Unsolicited night night text from C made me smile.

M - 424

Liverpool Half - 93

Glasgow Half - 205
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 326

1. The roads were so lovely and quiet dropping C off at school at six thirty this morning, put me in mind of our early morning runs to parkrun. Miss them, and am looking forward to running them again sometime in the not too distant future.

2. Slamming my left leg into the edge of the clothes airer last night worked wonders in providing a new source of pain to provide a distraction from the spasms (which I think are abating, but may now just be the lesser of two evils!)

3.  My new favourite passage from a book...
'There he goes again!' the Earthworm cried, speaking for the first time.  'He simply cannot stop telling lies about his legs! He doesn't have anything like a hundred of them! He's only got forty-two!' *
(still don't know how I'm going to make them)

4. My not so favourite sentence from the same book...
'And next to the spider, there was a giant Ladybird with nine black spots on her scarlet shell'
(oh how I wish I'd read that before I cut out and ironed on twenty)

5. Was quite pleased with how the body of H's centipede costume was coming along, until he tried it on and declared that I had made him a dress. Remind me never to volunteer for this sort of thing ever again.... I'd almost rather be in the gym!

M - 425

Liverpool Half - 94

Glasgow Half - 206
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

*James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl.

Day 325

1.  The internet is working again! This, and the irony at being told by the repairman that they can't find the underlying fault so that it may well happen again and then being given a £50 cash back voucher to refer a friend to Virgin made me smile.... any takers?!

2.  My disappointment at not being able to buy a packet of walnuts at the supermarket on the past two occasions (good for you apparently, can't remember why, maybe it was the Gym Man who told me and there's been a run on them like there was on the butter) turned into joy (well maybe not quite) at finding two unopened packets in the cupboard - only one of which was out of date, excellent!

3. I have followed HMG's lead in ticket splitting my train journey when C and I go to Oxford in May, saving me £37* which would be good news all round if they hadn't made a duplicate booking in error and charged me an additional £160!

4.  My leg is still odd, but no worse than yesterday.

5.  I have put my suitcase from Brighton away! As it happens to live in the bottom of the airing cupboard, I am taking this as a step ticked on the way to tidying it.

M - 426

Liverpool Half - 95

Glasgow Half - 207
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

*  Don't really understand it, but seems to be cheaper if you let a company purchase lots of tickets for fragmented parts of your journey instead of just one.  Perhaps though I should have paid greater heed to HMG when she warned me of lots of tickets, for someone who couldn't look after two in Brighton, I'm not sure having thirty four (tickets and seat reservations) is such a good idea. I'm now picturing myself with some sort of comedy credit card wallet than unfolds to the floor... 
Meanwhile we are booked on one pair of seats between Manchester and Stafford, a different set between Stafford and Leamington Spa, and the back to the original two for the final leg between Leamington and Oxford  but we don't change trains?! I am starting to suspect that this may be an experience not worth the £37 saving!

Day 324

1. Oh how fortuitous that our internet has gone down again... I really needed to be able to concentrate on my sewing without any distractions and now I can.

2.  There are many parents who would give anything for another day where instead of no distractions their children provided many, particularly of the chauffeuring kind.  I consider myself blessed to be so fortunate that for me this is still my reality, and at no point during the day did I mutter or curse anything to the contrary when requested to stop what I was doing to collect my son (who shall remain nameless, but it wasn't C, although I did have to pick you up later, but it was at least planned).

3.  Despite aforesaid interruptions the ladybird and spider are FINISHED! and

4.  Ten seams on the centipede have been sown - only a further thirty two to go (think I should have been less adventurous with this one, and I still don't know how I'm going to do the feet!).

5.  My left leg didn't start doing some strange spasm-y thing until after a lovely walk around the woods with the dogs on a beautiful sunny morning.

M - 427

Liverpool Half - 96

Glasgow Half - 208
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 323

1.  I awoke from a rather bizarre dream in which Al had won a ballroom dancing competition which meant he would be going on Strictly Come Dancing as a champion competitor, after which the rest of the day seemed rather dull by comparison! On further thought it was however more about the logistics of how he'd get the time off work to appear on the show and travel down to London, so in reality it was just an anxiety dream glitzed up in sequins! But made a nice change from the recurrent theme of running out of time to tidy the holiday cottage before change over....

2.  A very well timed top-tip email from the gym about getting organised I took literally to mean that I should stay home today, get organising and avoid the gym altogether.

3.  The calendar for March is now up to date and on the wall... and it's only the ninth of the month.

4.  The benefit of only having one ear that works properly is when your new headphones follow suit you can match up the good headphone with the good ear and not be quite so cross about it.

5.  The ladybird has her wings.  A completely unnecessary addition to the costume, but very pretty and slightly sparkly, a little like a Strictly costume now I come to think of it.....

M - 428

Liverpool Half - 97

Glasgow Half - 209
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 322

1.  Al was a bit of a star this morning helping me tidy and clean the downstairs of the house and almost averting a slight panic attack over what a tip our house is.

2.  By the time H's ten friends (that he'd somehow managed to inadvertently invite around to watch a film this afternoon) arrived I was almost calm.  With no reason for any of them to go into our bedroom or C's, they hopefully won't see where I've stuffed all the usual clutter that adorns the top landing.

3.  There is now so much stuff out of the airing cupboard that I haven't managed to put away recently that tidying it this next week should be a lot easier and fingers crossed I should make that goal by next Monday too.

4.  My legs are none the worse after yesterday's run to the extent that I am prepared to start thinking about our training plan for Liverpool HMG, even if I'm not prepared to actually start implementing it yet!

5.  H's friends left and the house looks none the worse for their being here! This means I can stay downstairs tomorrow and pretend it's all clean and tidy.  They also didn't eat the cakes that I had made, which is an added bonus but means it will take more luck than crossed fingers for me to meet my comfortably into my jeans in a week's time goal!

M - 429

Liverpool Half - 98

Glasgow Half - 210
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 321

1.  I have discovered that even when I'm not feeling particularly well I would rather run than clean the bathroom.

2.  I have returned to parkrun, my IT Bands were fine, the pain on the top of my left foot which almost stopped me from going, until I thought about the cleaning, is no worse for having been run on, and my time was only seventeen seconds off my sub twenty six minute goal for a week on Monday, so maybe just maybe I might make it after all...

3.  My namesake iris is flowering in the garden again, as is the first primrose - definitely signs that spring is on it's way.

4.  It was actually warm and sunny and FELT like spring was on it's way.

5.  Etsy favouriter (and now C's favourite) was round, always nice to see her.

M - 430

Liverpool Half - 99

Glasgow Half - 211
Distance covered               3.1 miles
Total Distance covered   506.3 miles

Day 320

1.  Had a lovely surprise visit from fellow parkrunner this afternoon.  So nice to sit and have a catch up over a cup of tea, no lycra in sight, and not just having run 5K. Fab shoes by the way!

2.  Lovely bit of spring sunshine to walk the dogs in.  For reasons I shan't go into they were walked three times in daylight hours today, which used to be Sid the dog's standard, even at eighteen he's not for being left at home.

3.  The ladybird has her spots!

4.  I have the best sister in the world.

5.  I have one hundred days to get fit for Liverpool.

M - 431

Liverpool Half - 100

Glasgow Half - 212
Total Distance covered   503.2 mile

A change of tack

is unfortunately required...

I made a decision about my blog today... for the time being at least I can't keep writing it. The fact that it has taken me four days to find time to write about it, I think means that disappointing as it is, it is the right decision.

Quite simply I don't have enough time.

But having worked so hard to keep going for so long, and having failed at Christmas to stop writing even though I said I would, I have decided to see if there is another way that I can stop, yet somehow at the same time keep going.  After much deliberation I have decided upon a five positive things about the day approach akin to the trend that was on Facebook last summer.  The other thing which some days takes more time than others is a title, so for days when I have only listed I will just use the day number as the title - not least because if I try to think of something relevant one of my points will be old news by the time you get to it on the list!

I am however immensely sad that it has come to this, I know from when I tried to stop before how much I am going to miss writing every day, but I have to find a way to catch up with my life outside marathongirl750, and even get back on track with the bits that are marathongirl750.  I hope you understand, and I hope you'll stick with me, yet at the same time I also hope that not too many of you prefer this new abridged format, but maybe regular readers will be grateful of the time to spend doing something else too!

OK enough deliberating, there is only one thing for it, to give it a go and see where it takes me, so here goes....

Today's top five things (in no particular order, except of course for the first)

1.  Al came home early and made tea - thank you! I think we'd still be waiting if it had been left up to me (and I'm writing this on Sunday!).

2.  I enjoyed every mouthful of the 'contraband' cheese and onion toastie that I made for lunch.

3.  After an hour spent trying to thread my overlocking sewing machine, and despite my failing eyesight and lack of understanding over what I was doing really, I got it to work; consequently

4.  The Spider costume is almost made, fits the girl who will be wearing it, and she liked it - result!

5.  In an attempt to save time I ran a few steps between shops this afternoon and my legs didn't collapse beneath me!

M - 432

Liverpool Half - 101

Glasgow Half - 213
Total Distance covered   503.2 miles

On the mend

but only in the morning!

I must be feeling slightly better because first thing this morning I messaged the Biomechanics Man about the suitability of a gym class this evening! Thankfully he hasn't picked the message up yet, as my energy levels have slumped during the day and my motivation has begun to wane - in fact I'd go to so far as to say it has waned completely but I'm not sure if that's a word - suffice to say I'm not going!

I have used all my energy up traipsing around Dewsbury this morning looking for fabric, and trudging round the fields this afternoon with the dogs, I think I'm ready for a evening sitting down rather than pulling my gym kit out of it's temporary retirement (clearly I don't think I'm going back any time soon!).

I might have been ready for an evening sitting down, my sons however had different ideas! Grabbing half an hour together whilst we ate our tea, Al asked what I was up to the evening whilst he was out -answer went something along the lines of washing up, taking H to drama, coming home, feeding the dogs, going out to pick up C, coming home to cook his tea, washing that up, going out to fetch H... and for the second time this week I think I might have been better off going to the gym!

M - 433

Liverpool Half - 102

Glasgow Half - 214
Total Distance covered   503.2 mile

Old Habits

Die Hard...

Still feeling poorly, still determined to keep moving forward, even when the universe seems to be conspiring to hold me back, still trying to emulate my sisters new found determination.

I decided that today was the day for having a bit of a clear out, or at least tidying up and chucking out some stuff that's been lying around for ages. I am such an awful hoarder, or depending on your point of view - a very good hoarder, and find throwing anything out notoriously difficult but new beginnings, as we decided yesterday, won't just happen with a cup of tea - it's time for action.

Time too to accept that my twice washed iPod which has been lying on the kitchen window sill since before Christmas doesn't work and throw it away. Couldn't do it! Had to check just one last time to see if it had somehow started working again - and it had! Keep checking it as I can't quite believe my luck but so far so good, can't see much on the screen but there is sound without it being plugged into a source of electricity! Almost enough to make me want to get my trainers back on to celebrate... definitely enough to make me question ever throwing anything out ever again!

My attempts to bring my musical tastes up to date were also thwarted today but this time in a most disappointing manner. I have recently received another piece of pre-owned technological kit, a DAB Radio, not from C this time, but from my eighty eight year old dad who has upgraded to something better and passed his old pocket radio on to me.  As a result dog walks since the end of last week have been in the company of Radcliffe and Maconie on Radio 6 Music.  Much has been made about their feature "The Chain" where listeners ring in and suggest a song that somehow links to the previous one, in, you got it, The Chain. Al's been talking about this for years and I was getting quite excited that (after all the build up over the past few days) I would get to hear the five thousandth link (which I think may have taken eight years to get to). Back from my walk a little early, I even kept my headphones in long enough to hear it announced - Dancing Queen by Abba?!!! Are you kidding?! First up, it is my least favourite Abba song (why does everyone else seem to like it so much?) and secondly if I'd wanted to listen to Abba I have plenty to choose from and don't need a digital radio for the pleasure (although admittedly being on vinyl it's not so easy to listen to whilst out walking). To give him his due Stuart Maconie did say it wasn't very 6 Music but still I can't help but feel that there is a conspiracy against me making any forward progress today!

Although that said I did open the airing cupboard door and have a quick look at the task ahead if that counts?!

M - 434

Liverpool Half - 103

Glasgow Half - 215
Total Distance covered   503.2 mile

Spring Clean

and the 'promise' of New Beginnings....

Haven't stopped today - and I can't help but think it might have been more restful if I'd actually gone to the gym for an hour this morning and then justified spending the rest of the day on the sofa! Although to be fair there is a difference between not having stopped and actually being active - I've spent most of the day on the computer catching up with finances, and blog writing, and gathering ideas for insect costumes! My favourite by far of which is the glow worm and I spent most of my lunchtime sourcing some options for fabulous iridescent fabrics only to be told by C an hour later that they are considering ditching that part!

I did get up from the computer long enough to make another batch of sweet potato and quinoa soup - firstly as an attempt to feel better (nothing like a bowl of soup when you're poorly) and secondly as an attempt to join sisterofMG750 as she embarks on a transformation programme of her own! It didn't go unnoted in Brighton that perhaps we were doing things the wrong way round and our half marathon should ideally have come at the end of our transformation, not part way through as in my case, or as the catalyst to start as in my sister's! In a further act of solidarity I have also (today) not eaten any of the brownies I made at the weekend  - although I must confess to a scraping of cream and crumbs.... even if it did make me feel like one of the dogs being given the bowl to clean!

AND I have purchased some Detox Teabags! They are apparently going to give me a spring clean and a fresh start for mind, body and soul. Simply by infusing the tea in freshly boiled water for five minutes before drinking I am going to be able to shrug off the old and embrace the new...  I have a small suspicion that it may take slightly more than this, but if nothing else it tastes nice!

M - 435

Liverpool Half - 104

Glasgow Half - 216
Total Distance covered   503.2 miles

No excuses

Poorly or otherwise!

Despite my best intentions to either sleep the weekend away, or get ready to hit the ground running on Monday, I haven't had anywhere near the amount of sleep I would have liked to have had, and I am not going to be running anywhere tomorrow - either physically or metaphorically! Nor am I going to go to the gym...

This last point is causing me more anguish that I ever thought possible! I am having an internal battle between the voice that's telling me that I CAN do this, that I can get back in there, get training, beat the issues I'm having with my legs, prove to myself that I HAVE got what it takes, and the one which is telling me that I need to take time out to rest and recover.  The trouble comes when I then think that listening to the rest and recover voice is also playing right into the hands of the CAN'T camp, and I'm trying very hard to beat that one into submission!

New month, new resolutions, new beginnings it's all there trying to entice me into action but perhaps listening to my body and not pushing it when it needs to rest IS the way forward and perhaps there are things I can do tomorrow to show me that I mean business without having to go the gym.

There are exercises that I am supposed to do at home that I need to build into a daily routine which are just as important, if not more so, and yet more often or not I ignore them because I've been to the gym or for a run and convince myself that I've done all that I need to do for the day.

Concentrating on this, getting my eating back towards something resembling the intake of someone who is supposedly trying to loose weight, and getting on top of my to-do list can all be done without leaving the house.  Poorly or otherwise there is no excuse not to be moving forward...

All that said, in my current state of feeling sorry for myself I could quite happily entertain the idea of never putting my running shoes on again, and I can almost feel every bit of tension in my legs melt away as the muscles in my legs relax just at the thought!

M - 436

Liverpool Half - 105

Glasgow Half - 217
Total Distance covered   503.2 miles