Feeling better

but it's not all it seems!

Had a better day today. Appointment with the Biomechanics Man went well this morning. I had forwarded my running video and analysis to him and it was good to go through it together - I did get the right end of the stick and he liked my shoes! The pains that I'm feeling in my left heel are understandable given the change in footwear but doesn't mean that I've bought the wrong thing - phew! I have left without a follow up appointment for the first time - up to me to go and get on with my exercises! Most excitingly however is the fact that I have made it onto his blog, and now know how C feels! It did make me smile however when he refers to running being my 'main sport'! He was either being kind or didn't want to say that running aside I'm a bit of a couch potato!

I leave feeling really positive and decide that I've had enough driving around with twenty five kilograms of old clothes on the back seat of the car and it's time they went.  The local 'shop' is still closed, but I have remembered that there's another place I can try - their rate per kilo is 20 pence less but they don't unpack them in front of you looking for unacceptable items. In the end I decide that I value my self esteem higher than a fiver and leave with £10.16 and my dignity intact. Job done!

Lovely afternoon on the sofa watching the men's time trials from the Commonwealth Games, Glasgow looking good in the sunshine, and feel well enough to go for a run with Al later on.

One of the things that I enjoy about going for a run is that it gives my mind a chance to wander and often get things in order, except that today this is where my day starts to unravel...

I'm running along thinking about feeling better today, when suddenly the reason for this bubbles to the surface, I have no memory of taking my antibiotics this morning, and sure enough when I get home and check they are still in the packet! So no, sisterofmarathongirl750 they haven't cured my ear yet!

M - 649
HM - 205
Distance covered              3.1 miles
Total Distance covered  165.9 miles

Feeling poorly

but I'm my own worst enemy

Sometimes things happen and you don't realise until later that it was all for the best.  I feel like this over last week's disappointment at not being able to start my antibiotics for five days whilst I took the steroids for my ear. If it hadn't been for my ear I would have started taking them last Wednesday which would have meant that I'd have felt like I do tonight whilst at the West Yorkshire Playhouse watching H, and I am incredibly glad that I didn't!

I have the most vile taste in my mouth and just feel rubbish and I'm only two days in to a course of seven. It's all a bit grim and I think I prefer the mumbo jumbo lavender pill approach, but I'm hoping it will all be worth it in the end. I am also holding on to the hope that if it is an infection causing the tinnitus in my ear then the antibiotics might sort it out at the same time.  C is less convinced of this theory, but as I explained to him I don't really want to know if they will or not I just want the glimmer of hope (please don't burst my bubble sisterofmarathongirl750 I know I'm clutching at straws!).

Al has been looking after me and doing anything he can to help, I just wish I knew how to help myself.... for some reason I decide that the best job to tackle today is trying to get my spreadsheet of cards sold to tally with my paper records and I am one card out.  I have checked and checked and checked again but I just can't find the error, and it is driving me to distraction.  I wish I could just fudge the figures, it really makes no difference to anything but I know I won't be able to rest until I've got it to balance and I can't help wishing  I could channel this need for perfection into my training!

Next feet are in! Cape Verde this time - good to see you're recuperating in style Halfmarathongirl make the most of it we've got some miles to start racking up on your return!

Off to see the Biomechanics Man tomorrow, heels are a little sore after yesterday's run - I hope he doesn't tell me it's my shoes!

M - 650
HM - 206
Total Distance covered  162.8 miles

Day 100

But first an apology...

I have disappointed C.  Two nights ago he was a star and it was remiss of me not to mention it yesterday so bear with me whilst I make amends...

When we put Dougal out for his last wee before going to bed it became apparent that something was lurking in the potato patch and whatever it was spooked Dougal so that he jumped all four paws off the ground. It was a real 'things that go bump in the night' moment, as Cal and I gingerly headed out with our torches trying to spot what it was before running back indoors too scared of whatever monster was out there. The more we talked about it the bigger it became, and the less likely I was to ever step foot in the garden again, I sent Al a text to tell him of our plight and he phones to talk C through what to do as the man of the house, which involved finding out what it was and then something to do with a box (and then do what with it?!) So armed with a torch and a broom handle he bravely went out to poke around in the undergrowth to determine if it was a bird, or a badger, or some mythical beast. It was the aforementioned crow. At which point we dispense with the advice from the Birdman of Tunbridge Wells and decide that neither of us are prepared to even attempt touching it - it might flutter, it might peck, and it can stay there til the morning where the rest as they say is history.

Poor C, all that bravery and apparently all he wanted was for it to be 'blogworthy', oh how our lives have changed in the past one hundred days!

One hundred days... I can't quite believe it! Some days have been easier to write than others and some have been read by more than others, although I'VE STOPPED WORRYING ABOUT IT! (I know, I know, only because I've replaced it with other things!) but I'm having fun and enjoying writing my blog especially when it initiates a response! It's making me smile to watch the audience stats reflect summer holiday locations and there's a new feet photo in from Mexico (thank you parkrun fast finisher).

I've run a PB at Edinburgh, a PB at parkrun and made small steps towards moving away from thinking about speed when it comes to distance! I'm looking forward putting what I've found out at both the Bio and Tri Mechanics men into practice and starting training proper in a month or so, and I love that this evening Al, Dougal, C and I all headed out for a run together (C was less impressed but GB boys need to cross train!).

I've sold over a hundred cards, raised close on a thousand pounds and am selling stuff I've made on the internet - and thank you Etsy Favouriter for telling C that I should celebrate EVERY sale whether I know the purchaser or not, be prepared for the 'I've sold on Etsy dance' on your return!

Forget peddling my old clothes, I'm on an up!

M - 651
HM - 207
Distance covered              3.1 miles  
Total Distance covered  162.8 miles

The wanderer returns

Not been the same here without you!

Al's home and it's lovely to see him - it was a long drive up for him from the South of England and a long day for those of us at home waiting, but plenty to do to fill the time...

First up there's an injured crow in the garden to deal with which isn't easy with a gun dog and a killer Jack Russell in the house, especially when all they want to do is not be in the house! A call to the RSPCA and for whilst I am put on the job list for the day, they would prefer it if I caught it and took it to the vets. I can't do this. Birds are fine in the sky, and at a safe distance but there is no way I could pick it up... thankfully I remember that my next door but one neighbour will a) probably be up at 8 am and b) able to deal with it for me. Caught, boxed and taken to the vets where on inspection they decide it is too badly injured to treat, it is a strange start to the day.

Not too much time to dwell however, I have a house to tidy and things to sort, all to make it look like I've done a much better job of staying on top of things whilst Al's been away than he does when I go! (Although admittedly this may have the effect of making him think he can go away more often rather than try harder when I do!). Whatever, I decided that the piles of clothes on the top landing are on the hit list and C and I head off to the delight of the clothes exchange.  It's closed, despite saying on the door (and internet) that it should be open, not to worry we live in such a lovely place that there is another one less than a mile away, so we went there instead.  I know that they ask for resalable clothes, but clearly everyone tries to hide some real rubbish half way down the bag because the lady at this one tells me that she is going to unpack and inspect every item from each of my eight bags. There was no way that I am going to stand there having someone fish out the horrors that I've hidden in front of me, so I mumbled something about not having time and stuff it all back in the car.  I am tempted to take it to a charity shop and donate the £6 per 10kg myself, but Al convinces me to try again at the first place tomorrow - think he's just legged himself with the job!

The boys who have been playing on the X-box downstairs over the past few days - supposedly to keep me company! - have retreated back upstairs and finally I get to watch some of the Commonwealth Games! I love watching athletics, and am feeling a particular unity with any comrade sporting any style of strapping!

Huge well done to Libby Clegg and Mikail Huggins winning Gold for Scotland in the T12 100 metres, to be able to run that fast whilst having to put your trust in your guide runner and in yourself to know what you can do and just go for it was amazing to watch. Not sure we'll cross the finish line in Brighton in such symmetrical style halfmarathongirl but will be good to be there together! Sisterofmarathongirl750 if we can't persuade you to run with us, which I fully understand, we will be there for you in spirit - as long as you imagine us sprinting along side you to the finish line with such graceful harmony as was witnessed this evening!

M - 652
HM - 208
Total Distance covered  159.7 miles

Ebay

Not quite the cathartic experience I was hoping for

Following a sterling performance at the Underwater Hockey Nationals last weekend C has been selected to join the Great Britain Under 19 Squad, and will be playing for GB this summer (#veryproudmumforthesecondtimethisweek). As a result he spent yesterday at a training camp and has come home full of anecdotes and motivational sayings designed to give them the winning attitude which last night he decided to apply to me!

Whether it was this, the fact that I have been inspired by sisterofmarathongirl750 having a clear out, my own desire to get on and do something, or a mixture of all three, I don't know but by nine o'clock this morning I am sending messages to my sis of what I'm going to achieve today. Nothing earth shattering but by the end of the day shoes that I've been meaning to sell for over a year will be on Ebay! Unfortunately this means cleaning them first, then photographing them, before beginning the laborious task of listing them. I had forgotten how much I hate Ebay, but at least that might excuse my tardiness!

Trying to sell the boys old shoes, my now redundant trainers, an old camera of my dad's and a hoodie of H's for a few pounds it is hard to feel anything other than sad that this is where my life has ended up. It wasn't quite the vision I ever held for myself, nor the cathartic clearing out experience I was hoping for.

I came very close to giving it up as a bad job and just putting them in the charity bag that is still on the top landing next to the ones to go and be sold for a few more pence, but the truth is that it will all add up in the end, and that if I do sell them WaterAid will benefit, and I've just remembered that the Government will match that donation if I make it before 9 September, so whatever I get will be doubled which makes me feel slightly better.

I have also sold a few more cards on Etsy today (although they are to my mother in law and the boys have banned me from my I've sold on Etsy dance until I make a 'proper' sale to someone I don't know - not sure exactly which part of yesterday's motivational talk this comes under!). It may not be quite the rush that I was hoping for but at least it is trickling in, besides which the recipient of my first Etsy order has received his cards and left nice feedback on my Facebook page which cheered me up.

So following another team talk from my new motivational coach about believing in myself I have made a decision. I will get there, I will manage to raise both £275 for WaterAid, and £2,000 for Barnardo's, I will make proper sales on Etsy and be allowed to do my dance, and if no one wants to buy my worn once Abercrombie and Fitch £5 bargain hoodie, I will wear it to the starting line of my marathon in 2016 and leave it for the charity pick up - almost tempted to unlist it just as an act of defiance!

But if nothing else it has given me something else to keep my eye on! One pair of trainers already guaranteed to sell! Whoo hoo £2 closer!

M - 653
HM - 209
Total Distance covered  159.7 miles

Thumbs up

for Team Marathongirl750

One of the numerous downsides to Al being away is that I'm spending a little bit too much time in my own company and have become somewhat introspective as a result but for once my thoughts are not entirely of a negative nature, the credit for which goes to the support network that has built and is continuing to build around me.

Go ahead from the Running Man over my shoe purchase and I'm ready for parkrun this morning, albeit feeling a little apprehensive as they still feel quite strange but once I'd left the house it was too late to change my mind.  I would like to say that they made running easier and that I flew round in my new shoes, but they didn't and nor did I, it was too hot and too much like hard work to be considered anything other than a slog BUT it felt really different, for the first time I was actually able to feel what was going on inside my shoes, I could feel where my foot was landing - and it wasn't on the heel! My ankles are still stiff, but I had no pain from my knees and instead ache in a new place altogether which I took as progress! A quick check in with the Running Man and apparently my glute medius is waking up (or in my layman terms the muscle at the outside top of my leg just below my hip!) PROGRESS! Don't really want to have to wait until Friday to go and see the Biomechanics Man to share my good news but time to get some exercises in before I go!

And that's still the hard bit. I know me, and I know how much I like the fun, interesting and exciting bit (like buying new wool, or fabric) and then am not so good at seeing the project through (there are many unfinished and not even started projects lurking under my bed!) and I am a little concerned that all this information gathering about my running technique will go the same way (and the foam roller and resistance band will be left to lurk there with the wool and fabric of yesteryear!)

I think I'm going to have to dig a little deeper to find some determination to make sure it doesn't, which is where a lovely afternoon dog walk with two of my parkrun friends (and potential Skechers converts!) comes in. Felt strange putting the world to rights on the bench in the sunshine without you Halfmarthongirl, but we did a valiant job in your absence and have been left with thoughts about what we want to have done by this time next year, which in case you've forgotten whilst sunning yourself on your hols is two half marathons down and training for the third!

My mind is oscillating between negative thoughts about why I've never really stuck at anything in the past, and optimism about things starting to come together and feeling good about the future...  I'm trying really hard to concentrate on the positives and get organised so that I do stick at it, and it does happen! All buoyed up and ready for action, I realise partly why I find it so hard to actually turn this IN to action - I cooked three separate meals at three different times this evening, which may just be another downside of Al's absence!

M - 654
HM - 210
Distance covered 3.1 miles
Total Distance covered  159.7 miles

Zola Budd

wasn't such a mad idea to run barefoot after all!

Very interesting time with the Running Man this afternoon and the closest I will ever come to any of the Strictly Come Dancing experience!

For those of you now picturing some sort of sequined outfit and perhaps a quick cha cha cha, you will be very disappointed when I tell you that it was the part of the "It Takes Two" show where one of the professional dancers comes in with video footage from the training sessions and then draws lines on the screen to point out where they are going wrong!

Having never run on a treadmill before I am not impressed with it's relentlessness! Once at the recommended pace it doesn't slow down, but carries on forcing me to maintain the speed for all of the ten minutes that I'm asked to, clearly this is not how I normally run! Then it's time to watch me in slow mo!

Oh dear! Not quite the gazelle of our wishful thinking Halfmarathongirl! My posture is dreadful, my right leg isn't working properly, my arm swing is wrong, and my cadence (number of strides per minute - I think!) is too slow, but on a positive note this is concurrent with what I've found out at the Biomechanics Man!

He also doesn't like my shoes as they are too built up and not allowing me to feel what's going on with my feet and inhibiting my brain from finding a natural footfall. I also have issues with balance and need to work on improving this so I can find that position where I am balanced quickly and then move off again, instead of wobbling about a bit and putting stress on my ankle which is what's happening at the moment. Or at least I think that's what he said - it was a lot to take in and I'm looking forward to the follow up email confirming this to be the case, or correcting me if not!

Errors pointed out it was back on the treadmill barefoot, concentrating on my posture and what a difference! My right leg was loads better and I looked a stone lighter (although he didn't seem to think this was particularly relevant!).

Next dilemma was whether to stop off in Leeds on my way home and get my new shoes which would mean that I didn't have to make a special journey and would have them for tomorrow, but meant going shopping in my running kit! In the end my hatred of shopping won, and hoping that perhaps I didn't look too out of place as most people were in shorts and t-shirts, I hid behind my sunglasses and called in to Skechers A little confused by conflicting advice from the sales assistant I went ahead and made a purchase but have asked for confirmation from the Running Man before I wear them! Why is it all such a minefield?! But hmm Doctor and running specialist or shop assistant - bit of a no brainer really!

Home and exhausted but looking forward to running tomorrow morning! Although there was one piece of advice that I really didn't want to hear... I've to stand up more, sitting isn't good for me or you for that matter, but I can't remember why just that I spend too long sat down which is a shame because right now it's all I want to do! Luckily the tea needs cooking, the garden needs watering and the dogs could do with an evening walk.... sit and watch ANY of the Commonwealth Games I don't think so!

M - 655
HM - 211
Total Distance covered  156.6 miles